A Christmas Story (1983)
Alec, JJ and Mattson dive into a spirited discussion about the classic holiday film, "A Christmas Story," which has long been a staple of Christmas viewing for many families. While Matson shares fond memories of watching the film every Christmas Eve, JJ and Alec express their disdain for it. The conversation explores the reasons behind their strong feelings, including JJ's criticism of the film's narration and its disjointed storytelling. As they reminisce about various scenes, from Ralphie's BB gun aspirations to the infamous lamp, they reflect on how nostalgia shapes their views on holiday movies. Ultimately, the episode highlights the differing perspectives on what makes a film enjoyable, especially during the festive season.
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Transcript
And this might have been JJ's story because he was born in the 50s.
Matson:Like this could.
JJ:Yep.
JJ:Driving to Seattle.
Matson:I mean, it was in Ohio.
Matson:This was in Cleveland, Ohio.
Matson:Like JJ grew up close there.
Matson:Like, this could have been the story of jj.
Matson:He got a little more portly at some point, but it's fair.
JJ:Welcome to the what's Already podcast.
JJ:We fashion ourselves cinematic judge and Jerry.
JJ:My name is J.J.
JJ:crowder.
JJ:I'm here with my co hosts Matson Heiner.
Matson:Yeah, Better Red than Dead and Alec Burgess.
Alec:Let's get it.
JJ:We appreciate you tuning in.
JJ:Go ahead, hit that.
JJ:Follow subscribe like bell notification buttons help us grow the podcast.
JJ:Help keep up with everything we do, at least on YouTube and.
JJ:And on the podcast, wherever you listen to podcasts.
JJ:But also you should tell help us grow by telling a friend, family member, a guy with a lamp in it, with a leg shaped lamp in his window.
JJ:Maybe a ginger bully would do.
Matson:I know all about those.
JJ:That's right.
JJ:That's right.
JJ:It is week two of our holiday, our Christmas themed month.
JJ:And we're kicking into the TNT classic A Christmas Story.
JJ: ,: JJ:It was written by Gene shepherd and Lee Brown Star or it was directed by Bob Clark.
JJ:Stars Peter Billingsley, Melinda Dylan, Darren McGavin, Scott Schwartz, Gene Shepard as Ralphie the adult, Ian Petrella, Artie Robb and Zach Ward.
JJ: It's about in: JJ: In the: JJ:Whose pick was this?
Alec:This is me.
JJ:Oh, what?
Matson:It was you.
Alec:So I mistakenly took credit for last week's.
Alec:Ah, that was Matson.
Alec:This one was me.
Alec:I went back and I checked the messages.
Matson:Well, I would have picked this.
Matson:Another classic case of I absolutely would have picked this one.
Matson:But Alec beat me to it.
JJ:I think you tried to pick this and I had to tell you that Alec beat you.
Matson:Oh, 100.
Matson:I would have picked this.
JJ:Yeah.
Matson:But anyways, I digress.
Matson:Alex moment.
Alec:I picked this.
Alec:Purely.
JJ:I knew it.
Alec:Purely.
JJ:I knew it.
Alec:A piss JJ off.
JJ:I knew it.
Alec:I hate this movie with a passion.
Alec:But I also knew that J.J.
Alec:hated it more.
Alec:I cannot stand this movie.
Alec:There's maybe two moments in it that I find hilarious and it's.
Alec:I.
Alec:I think my hate started because every Christmas Eve, this is.
Alec:This was on a 24 hour loop on like three different channels.
JJ:Yep.
JJ:TNT.
JJ:TBS.
Alec:Yeah.
JJ:Then one other one.
Alec:ESPN, the Ocho or Something like that.
JJ:Yeah, exactly.
Matson:So, Jay, why do you.
Matson:Why do you hate this movie?
Matson:Like, Alec?
Matson:Like, it's because it was overplayed or.
Matson:What is it?
Matson:What is it?
Matson:What's the hate?
JJ:No, I think it's a bad movie.
JJ:Like, I think it's like, this movie that everybody loves and they talk about and it's.
JJ:It's not a good movie.
JJ:It.
JJ:And.
JJ:And here's the funny part.
JJ:It suffers from the same we talked about last week, Alec.
JJ:It's.
JJ:It's just not owned by a comedic troupe.
Matson:Yeah.
JJ:It's a bunch of skits with this overarching theme of a kid that wants a BB gun for Christmas.
JJ:That's.
JJ:Yeah, the Red Rider.
Alec:An official red rider.
Alec:Carbon 200 shot Air Marifle or whatever it is.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:And so for me, like, it's so disjointed and random and weird, and I'm like, I just don't enjoy this movie.
JJ:And then on top of the fact that everybody loves it and talks about it and it's like, playing on every other channel, I don't care now.
JJ:But, like, when I was a kid, it used to piss me off because I'd flip and that's the only thing it was on.
JJ:And it's just.
JJ:To me, it's just not funny.
JJ:I can only.
JJ:Like I said, I'm with Alec.
JJ:There might be three sequences that I find funny.
JJ:Two of them because they're funny, and one of them because I'm like.
JJ:I could see myself doing that.
JJ:And so it's like.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:And I haven't watched this movie in years and years and years and years because I can't stand it.
JJ:I turn it off.
Matson:Question here.
Matson:Who recommended the movie that will be releasing next week, Jingle all the Way?
Matson:Do you like that movie, Alec?
Alec:No.
Matson:Okay, that makes me feel better.
Matson:All right.
Matson:At least we have that because.
Matson:Okay, I'll save it for next week.
Matson:My gosh.
Matson:Well, so I know why.
Alec:This month, guys, I had a lot of fun.
Matson:I recommended.
Matson:What's that book that got turned into a movie that we're reviewing.
Matson:I've watched it, yet I'm dreading it.
Matson:What is it?
Matson:It's the one with the train.
Matson:Polar Express, right?
JJ:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Matson:I just.
Matson:Save it.
Matson:I specifically recommended it because I'm sure I'm gonna blow up on that podcast.
Matson:Dad, don't hate me, but I hate your movie.
Matson:But this movie.
Matson:I know why I like this movie.
Matson:It's because I grew up watching this movie instead.
Matson:Like, I think most holiday movies.
Matson:Yeah, well, I Mean, I'll be like, Christmas vacation.
Matson:I recommended that because I recently actually just watched a movie a couple years ago, and there's, like, a few things that I like, and I'm willing to tolerate the rest of it.
Matson:But now, having just watched it again, I don't know, man.
Matson:It.
Matson:It gets worse every time because it was funny the first time.
Matson:The sledding part with that movie just crushes me.
Matson:Like, I'll never forget my little brother and I when we first watch that.
Matson:But I digress.
Matson:This movie, I used to watch this every Christmas Eve, and I look forward to it.
Matson:It was fun.
Matson:I mean, I still.
Matson:To this, I haven't.
Matson:I have not continued that tradition, sadly enough.
Matson:But the part with Ralphie and putting on all the coats and his arms can't go down.
Matson:I don't care.
Matson:Like, that part still gets me every time.
Matson:I can't get up.
Matson:I can't get up.
Matson:Love that part.
Matson:Or the other part I absolutely love.
Matson:And this is where JJ would come in.
Matson:JJ would be that kid that he would influence me to say curse words because he'd be a little bit older than me, because he's way older than me.
Matson:And then I would just try to get him in trouble on the phone.
Matson:And that part where the moms just senselessly.
Matson:That's just like beating her child.
Matson:I hope you guys that part better be funny, because that part is freaking funny.
Matson:Like that.
Matson:That part gets me every single time because I'm like, oh, yeah, I know.
Matson:I could have done that.
Matson:It said that to some.
Matson:My mom and some other mom would have freaked out.
Matson:That part crushes me.
Matson:Like, the soap in the mouth.
Matson:I can relate to that.
Matson:That happened to me.
Matson:There's just like, hiding under a cabinet because your brother was going to get in trouble.
Matson:I didn't hide because my brother was going to get in trouble.
Matson:But I did that when I was a kid.
Matson:Like, there's just these bits and things that, like, I find myself in.
Matson:And like the Ovaltine and the little Annie decoder and, like, finding out it's just a karate, like, advertisement still resonates today.
Matson:So there's bits and pieces like that and, like, the lamp.
Matson:What an icon and what a random weird.
Matson:And like, it's so wacky, but it's so, like, awesome at the same time.
Matson:The party just runs his hand up and he's like, yeah.
Matson:Or whatever.
Matson:It's like, so, yeah.
Matson:There is so many.
Matson:Or like the dogs, the Bumpus hounds.
Matson:Or the end.
Matson:The iconic.
Matson:The Chinese Christmas.
Matson:And they can't sing la la la la la la It's a ton of.
Matson:But I think if JJ or Alec or we all watch it together, I think it would be funnier and it would be a better time.
Matson:But I know I like it more because I grew up with it.
Matson:And as we've done this through the years now, if you've got that, it'll get you through almost any movie that maybe isn't as good because it was something that has just been carried throughout your life at that point.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:Yeah.
Alec:But I think all the parts that you mentioned, Madsen, combined for a total of four and a half minutes of screen time.
Alec:And this movie's long.
JJ:Not though.
JJ:But it feels long.
Matson:Or I could imagine jj, this might have happened to J.
Matson:J could.
Matson:Had a great aunt or something.
Matson:He got a bunny suit for Christmas and he didn't want to put that on, but he had to put it on.
Matson:I bet you JJ almost has a story like that.
JJ:I do.
JJ:But it's not a bunny suit.
JJ:Like, I didn't get suits my grandma used to buy.
Matson:And this might have been JJ's story because he was born in the 50s.
Matson:Like, this could.
JJ:Yep.
JJ:I'm driving to Seattle.
Matson:I mean, it was in Ohio.
Matson:This was in Cleveland, Ohio.
Matson:Like, JJ grew up closer.
Matson:Like, this could have been the story of jj.
Matson:He got a little more portly at some point.
JJ:But it's fair, though.
Matson:Ralphie, you could have been Randy.
Matson:Jj, you were the little brother eating your food like a piggy.
JJ:Hate that part of the movie.
JJ:It was filmed in Cleveland.
JJ:It actually took place in Indiana, just next door.
Matson:You're correct.
Matson:But it was Cleveland, though.
JJ:Yeah, it was filmed in Cleveland.
JJ:In fact, I've driven by the house before when I was probably.
Matson:Spit on it, you loser.
JJ:The kid.
JJ:When I was a kid, I didn't have as massive of a hate for it as I do now, but I certainly didn't like it back then either.
JJ:Five bucks to whichever one of you can guess the third reason that I hate this movie.
Matson:The narration.
JJ:You got it, buddy.
JJ:I know.
Matson:I was actually gonna bring it up myself, but I was gonna.
Matson:I know you hate it.
JJ:Why is this movie have to be.
JJ:Oh, I'll tell you why.
JJ:Because it's based on a book.
JJ:So what did they do?
JJ:They just had this.
JJ:Read his book.
JJ:And that's the problem is the guy that wrote this thing, the gene, whatever, he wrote the book.
JJ:So, like, he just planted his little book in movie form.
JJ:He got somebody to do it.
JJ:And so what does he do?
JJ:He Reads the narration, which is directly out of the book.
JJ:I'm like, if I wanted to have your book read.
JJ:Yeah, that's him.
JJ:He does it.
JJ:Was he.
JJ:He purchased his way to his 15 minutes of fame that's just now bogged down my Christmas for 42 years.
Alec:But, like, that's brilliant marketing on his part.
Alec:I don't care what you say.
JJ:I get it, guys.
JJ:This guy just fucking reads his book and I'm like, if I wanted to read your book or if I wanted someone to read it to me, I'd fucking get it.
JJ:Book on tape and listen to it, you prick.
JJ:And I just.
JJ:I hate if you have that much exposition verbalized by a narrator.
JJ:Your movie sucks.
JJ:It's a book.
JJ:It's not a movie.
JJ:Out of here.
JJ:Hate it.
JJ:Drives you nuts.
Matson:I triple dog dairy to watch this movie again.
JJ:I'm no child.
Matson:Hey, guys, don't leave me.
Matson:Don't go, don't go, don't go.
JJ:Oh, I am that guy.
Matson:Has anyone done that before?
JJ:Oh, hell yeah.
JJ:Football game on the.
JJ:The back that.
JJ:You know the fence that always ran the back of the high school.
JJ:Yep.
JJ:Stuck on the pole.
Alec:Never lived anywhere that cold.
Alec:Never planned to.
JJ:Yeah.
Matson:Alex lives in like.
Matson:Like the blazing desert.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:He can't touch meadow because it'll burn skin away, though, so.
Alec:Yeah, that's true.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:One time.
Matson:I just didn't know this movie was made in 83.
Matson:Like, Hollywood continues to impress me.
Matson:It's funny, the longer we get away from these time periods, like, they just have to have massive warehouses of old shiz that they just keep so they can film certain periods of time.
JJ:Oh, yeah.
JJ:Well, what they do is they keep it all.
JJ:Then they say that they made it again in charge, you know, double.
JJ:But yeah, unless it gets stolen.
JJ:That's why they get so pissed when, like, props and get stolen, because you gotta remake that.
Matson:Oh, I didn't know that was the thing, but I guess I could see that being a thing.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:Because if they want to use it down the road or if it's like.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:There's a lot of times I think they were saying they had like 14 different versions of Mjolnir for the MCU.
JJ:So it's like they make a ton of them, but sometimes now they make them so.
JJ:Because they know that actors are gonna swipe one.
JJ:So it's like.
JJ:Yeah.
Matson:But.
JJ:Yeah, I'm sure there's.
JJ:I'm sure.
Matson:I mean, jj, let's be honest about you.
Matson:Our listener and listening audience probably doesn't know this but when JJ plays games, he's big on what he calls shinies.
Matson:He likes to collect the goodies in the games.
Matson:If JJ was an actor, Hondo P.
Matson:You'd be copping some stuff.
Matson:Absolutely.
JJ:Dude.
JJ:I got a collection of right here.
JJ:None of it's cool.
JJ:What would I do with actual cool?
JJ:Like from movies and stuff?
JJ:Yeah, that's, that's gonna be the end of that deal.
Matson:I'd absolutely be swiping for JJ's Acting Beats scheme.
Matson:And what can I get next?
JJ:Oh yeah, it would be a.
JJ:Like, what's the most mundane random I can steal from my movie set.
JJ:Absolutely.
JJ:And have like a whole collection of just weird ass.
JJ:Like a fork or like a tablecloth or something.
JJ:Like, what else can I swipe from this movie?
JJ:Candlestick.
JJ:Hell yeah.
Matson:Well, getting back the other part of this movie that resonates with me more now through the years being married is the, the lamp scene.
Matson:But then when the mom decides, like, I'm going to.
Matson:I'm just going to ruin my husband's pride and joy and like accidentally knock this over.
Matson:And you know that, or you know that she knows that he knows that she knows that she did it on purpose.
Matson:Tried to make that confusing.
Matson:And it's just this game of cat and mouse and.
Matson:But they can't come out and say it at each other because they don't want to get that mad at each other.
Matson:I love that part because even now, like, there's things that my wife tries to buy or dude.
Matson:And you're just like, man, I just would really love to be a dick right now and like, not make this happen.
Matson:But like, you can't do that.
Matson:Like, this is not like the right thing to do.
Matson:Unless you're Alec who somehow has someone that loves him.
Matson:And we all wonder why.
Alec:Sometimes I wonder why at the exact same time.
Alec:There's no logical reason for it.
JJ:That's funny.
JJ:That's way funny.
JJ:Yeah, I, I just.
JJ:There's not much like them beating the.
JJ:Him beating the.
JJ:Out of the bully.
JJ:Like, I love that part because, like, that resonates with me because as a kid, like, I'm a pretty patient.
JJ:Even to this day, I'm pretty patient, dude.
JJ:Probably more so than I was when I was a kid.
JJ:But when you get that, like I always used to tell my friends, like, I have a very long fuse.
JJ:Very long, like unhealthily long fuse.
JJ:But when it's burnt out, it's not good.
JJ:You.
JJ:You have you.
JJ:And so I would be that kid where I'd just Be having that shitty ass day comes with, oh, I beat the living out of him.
JJ:But so that part always makes me laugh.
JJ:And I love the dogs just because I want the hound dogs.
JJ:Like they're cool and I think it's funny when they wreck the freaking kitchen and eat the turkey.
JJ:Like that shit's hilarious.
JJ:Especially like where he's trying to pick at it the whole time.
JJ:That makes me laugh.
JJ:That whole sequence makes me laugh in the end because my dad's that picker.
JJ:Like he'll walk into the kitchen and everything's still cooking and he starts picking at.
JJ:And it was like you could always tell in any holidays here, George.
JJ:Dad's got his fingers in the bowls again.
Matson:So I don't know how people cooked back then.
Matson:Like the fridge and the counter space like all it was like non existent.
Matson:Just like mini kitchens, hard to do small ovens.
Matson:Turkey is not that good in the oven.
Matson:You gotta smoke it.
Matson:Like, I don't know, man.
Matson:Tough life out there.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:They didn't have smokers back then.
Matson:Furnaces that are like just basically killing everyone with the amount of smoke that's generated.
Matson:Like my gosh, like Jay, tell us about that.
Matson:Because you're old enough to remember this.
JJ:You know.
JJ:You know what I remember when it was when I was a little kid and we lived before my parents had the house when we were a kid.
JJ:Like radiator heaters that were in little apartments, grabbing a hold of them on accident, not knowing that they fought.
JJ:Yeah, that I remember that.
JJ:Kids today don't know what the hell they're like, what's that decoration on the wall or over on the floor over there in the bathroom.
Matson:Jake is like, I triple dog dare you lick it.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:And I'm that kid too.
JJ:Like I was either the one taking the dare or I was the one triple dog dare.
JJ:And son's to do it.
JJ:There was no in between with me.
JJ:I wasn't watching anything.
JJ:I was either doing it.
JJ:And usually what would happen is I triple dog dare all these guys.
JJ:And they were all.
JJ:So they wouldn't do it.
JJ:So then I'd be like, fine, you guys, I'll do it.
JJ:And then they're all, that's why we didn't do it.
JJ:When I'd end up with my tongue stuck to a.
Matson:That's why JJ's the way he is today.
JJ:It's true.
JJ:I'll try anything once, twice.
Matson:I wish I could say that I was the one that I dared people.
Matson:But as I dared them, I joined them.
Matson:So I right There with you.
Alec:Yeah, I was one doing stupid.
Alec:Didn't even need a dare required.
Alec:I was just doing stupid because that's type of person I am.
JJ:I wonder what would happen if I licked this pole.
Alec:Yeah, pretty much.
Matson:I love it.
JJ:I love it.
Alec:I will say the only other part I like in this movie besides the, you know, ratting out some poor child for a swear word is the Santa visit.
Alec:The Santa visit is so outrageously funny to me.
Alec:Just the.
Alec:That's the narration that I'm okay with is the whole like what do I say?
Matson:Oh no, no, no.
JJ:What do I do?
Alec:I froze.
Alec:You're freezing.
Alec:You're freezing.
Alec:It's like this.
Alec:This creepy ass.
Alec:How about a nice football?
JJ:Oh God, Alec, you would make it.
Matson:You'd make a good elf.
Matson:That.
Matson:That elf chick.
Matson:That like nothing, you know, like to be Alec, just being a dude.
Matson:The little children.
Alec:I make a great Santa Claus.
Alec:And one of the reasons why I enjoy that scene so much now is we actually at work reenacted it where I was Santa Claus getting to push someone down the slide with my shoe.
Alec:Dude, like shot for shot, we recreated this thing and it is every bit as terrible as the original.
Alec:It is fantastic.
Matson:You know who couldn't be Santa Claus?
Matson:JJ with his like lusciously lump.
Matson:Whatever nickname you had.
JJ:J.
JJ:Yeah, the lusciously luscious Lickable Lump or whatever.
Matson:Couldn't have children sitting on that.
JJ:No, it's on my head.
JJ:Why would I have him sitting on top of my head?
Matson:No, but J.J.
Matson:is our most Santa Claus lookalike.
Matson:Have you ever thought about playing Santa?
JJ:J.
JJ:Oh, there's a standing.
JJ:So my mom volunteers at a museum around here and so with my dad, he's been under.
JJ:He's not been able to do much over the last little while.
JJ:So he always plays.
JJ:Every year he plays Santa at this museum.
JJ:Well, because he can't do much like I'm the back Phil if he's not able to be there.
JJ:So I have done it.
JJ:It's not my favorite thing.
JJ:It's.
JJ:It's awkward.
JJ:It's weird.
JJ:Like I love kids.
JJ:I think they're great, but it's awkward.
JJ:They're all.
JJ:Yeah, it's weird.
Matson:But why is it weird?
JJ:Because, dude, look, I.
JJ:I don't like random children that I don't know sitting on my knee.
JJ:Like, it's weird.
Alec:Kids are what make it weird, man.
JJ:Yeah, you know, it's just like.
Alec:It's just kids being kids.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:It's just not my thing.
JJ:Like, just weird.
Matson:Now I want you to be the back villain.
Matson:I want to come out and see this.
JJ:I mean, don't get me wrong.
JJ:Nobody knows that I find it on ridiculously.
Matson:JJ's out there half baked dude, until like, to the moon.
JJ:That would make it much easier to deal with kids.
Matson:Like, I want opponents.
JJ:Like, well, don't get your pony.
JJ:No.
JJ:The problem is I'd start laughing at their gift requests.
Matson:Yeah.
JJ:And then say inappropriate.
Matson:And I guess the elf just being a straight dick to these children.
Matson:Like, yeah, you said you're taking out.
JJ:Get out of here.
JJ:Next.
Alec:Get in line.
JJ:That's funny.
Matson:Then he got me.
Alec:No, I'll.
Matson:I'll be the elf version of a Christmas Alva.
JJ:Oh, goodness.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:Can't stand this movie.
JJ:I will say the other one is the way overplayed part is the.
JJ:When he swears when he's helping his dad and they.
JJ:The lug nuts go flying and the.
JJ:Oh.
JJ:Because that was definitely me always getting yelled at for cursing when I was a kid.
JJ:And it hasn't.
JJ:It didn't stick, obviously.
JJ:If you listen or watch any of our podcast.
Matson:I thought we were a wholesome family entertainment.
Matson:Jake.
JJ:Yeah.
Alec:Where the fuck have you been?
JJ:Yeah, that's why when you.
JJ:You made the comment in the beginning or earlier, there's.
JJ:Sorry, Dad.
JJ:I was like, your dad doesn't listen to us.
JJ:I defend the.
JJ:Out of your dad.
Matson:He doesn't.
Matson:Mr.
Matson:Miami, as he.
Matson:I just found out that's his favorite nickname I've given him.
Matson:Of all the ones when he looks like a old kingpin drug lord.
Matson:Definitely does not listen to this podcast.
JJ:Yeah.
JJ:No, I'd hurt his ears.
Matson:My mom definitely doesn't.
Matson:And she would definitely be ashamed of me.
Matson:In fact, she's told me to stop doing this podcast because she's been worried about some of the movies that I've watched.
JJ:What, did he, like, rat your ass out or something?
JJ:Or did you.
Matson:No, she's known.
Matson:I mean, she's not done it through the years.
Matson:I think she even listened to, like, one or.
Matson:I know.
Matson:In fact, I know she has, and I think she was just concerned.
JJ:She's like, was it the movies or was it me?
Alec:I think it was jj.
JJ:Yeah.
Matson:No, she thinks about you.
JJ:Okay.
Alec:She's like, that can't be right.
JJ:Yeah.
Alec:Mom's.
JJ:Mom's love me.
Matson:What I.
Matson:What I tell her is I'm like, well, JJ used to be Mormon.
Matson:He's no longer, but I'll bring him back.
Matson:And she's like, oh, great, you do missionary work.
JJ:That's like Casey's grandma used to.
JJ:We'd go to for dinner and she'd tell me, you, you.
JJ:I was like, yeah, Marie, I was baptized, but I don't do that stuff anymore.
JJ:She goes, ah, you'll come back and you're gonna bring Casey with you.
JJ:I'm like, now that's a tall order.
JJ:Even if I came back six times, I couldn't get her to come back.
Matson:Well, we.
Matson:I don't know, much stronger willed women than her, and my wife is one of them, but not even in the stratosphere of a Casey.
JJ:Yeah, no, Casey's.
JJ:She's special.
JJ:She.
JJ:If you want to know, go back and listen to our.
JJ:What was that TV show that we did?
JJ:She.
JJ:Absolutely.
Matson:Oh, gosh.
Matson:It was the religious one with.
Matson:What was that?
JJ:Waco.
JJ:Waco.
JJ:Yeah, we did an episode with Javier and Javier's wife and we did two.
Matson:But there was this.
Matson:Yeah, there was the one I wasn't there for because I had to go somewhere and it got.
JJ:Yeah, it got ugly real quick.
Matson:Like, like all the, all the feuds we have on this are all, like, comical and we're.
Matson:We're fine right after because it doesn't really mean anything.
Matson:That one.
JJ:Definitely that one.
JJ:Hurt feelings like that one.
JJ:That one.
JJ:That one changed dynamics for a while.
JJ:Still to this day, I don't.
JJ:Yeah, so that's me.
JJ:That's the podcast.
JJ:Welcome to my world.
JJ:But, yeah, no, it was that one.
JJ:Yeah, she.
JJ:Dude, there was some offense taken across the board on that deal.
JJ:I was like, not for me, but.
Matson:Well, I have a new goal.
Matson:Let's try to get JJ to re.
Matson:Watch this Christmas movie every year.
JJ:And Alec, it certainly won't happen every year.
JJ:And now that it's been on the podcast, there's got to be some serious, like, leverage, my friend, because.
JJ:Yeah, I hate this movie so much.
JJ:I've never liked it even as a kid.
JJ:Like, I tolerated it as a kid because all the adults were like, oh, it's a Christmas story.
JJ:It's so funny.
JJ:And I'm like, what's funny about it?
JJ:Like, you relate to your husband chilling on the couch, reading the newspaper while you do everything.
JJ:Like, you remain, you know, him swearing through the floor.
Matson:Don't.
Matson:Don't start at the end of this.
Matson:We're about to review this.
Matson:Don't let me, don't let me have to lecture you on what humor is and what humor is not.
Matson:I want to go there with our listening audience.
Matson:We're just.
Matson:We're gonna leave it.
Matson:We're gonna be Happy.
Alec:I say we go there.
Matson:No, it's not worth it.
JJ:Oh yeah.
JJ:Matson has an opinion on my comedy, but I just don't find this funny.
Matson:Don't the people know?
Matson:Don't they know?
Matson:Jay, I save them from you sometimes because you're a boring old 70 year old man born in the 50s.
JJ:Sure, your math is all up across the board, but I like it just.
Matson:That 30 years listening audience.
Matson:Jay's not that old, but sometimes I feel like he is with this beard right now.
Matson:He could trick you.
JJ:Yeah, well.
JJ:And it's just, it gets wider and wider every year.
Matson:So for our podcast audience, come check us out on YouTube.
Matson:Check out one of our shorts.
Matson:I'm sure you'll see JJ's.
Matson:He.
Matson:He could pull Santa Claus off quite well right now.
JJ:Yeah, it won't be long before I can actually fully pull it off.
JJ:That'd be Mall Santa.
Matson:You're gonna keep growing it that I'm.
JJ:Gonna have to change the little animated character on our website whatsoever dot com.
JJ:And then like the Patreon and our YouTube because he's got a full on dark beard.
JJ:I got like a street.
JJ:It used to be I'd be like, yeah, this is my streak of gray.
JJ:And now I'm like, yeah, this is my streak of brown.
Matson:Okay, we can change your logo because I never wear hats like that to this day.
Matson:Still hate my character shirt.
JJ:Three years in, this dude's still bitching about that.
Matson:It don't look like me.
JJ:Oh, God.
Alec:It kind of looked exactly like you.
JJ:I was gonna say it's just a hat like that.
JJ:Yeah, you and your flat brimmed hats.
JJ:That's how I know.
Matson:Don't be hating on my hats.
Matson:At least you look like you were supposed to.
JJ:Well, kind of.
JJ:She made me fat and I had a beard and I had a hat on that I wear all the time.
Matson:So I think it looks just like you.
Matson:And Alec definitely looks like himself.
Matson:He just needs like a little knife in.
Matson:In there as well.
JJ:Let's say all of them look like us.
JJ:You're just mad about that.
Alec:You're just mad about what you look like.
JJ:Yeah, that's funny.
Matson:All right, let's rate this.
JJ:I was gonna say let's rate this thing because we run out of to talk about a long time ago.
JJ:Alec, kick off this show, buddy.
Alec:Hell yeah.
Alec:This is a 0 100.
Alec:Never watching this movie again if I can help it.
Alec:I hate it with a passion.
Alec:The only time I asked to watch this movie when I was growing up is if I Thought I could stay up past my bedtime because it was on for 24 hours on Christmas Eve.
Alec:That's only reason.
Alec:Hands down, a zero.
Alec:A zero.
JJ:It's impressive.
Alec:Terrible.
JJ:Is this your first zero?
JJ:Have you given a zero before?
Alec:I think I've given a zero before.
Alec:I don't know.
Alec:What movie did you suggest?
Alec:Last Match.
Alec:And that's probably the last year I gave.
Matson:Oh, yeah, but it's probably some dumbass black and white booty cheeks movie.
Alec:No, if I give those higher scores, those are good movies.
Alec:This movie would have been improved if it was in black and white.
JJ:That's funny.
Matson:All right, move on.
Matson:Move on.
Matson:And jj, what are you rate in this movie?
JJ:I'll give it a one.
JJ:I can't in good conscience give it a zero because I do laugh at a couple of parts and at the end of the day, most people do enjoy it.
JJ:So I got to give some credit to the fact that there's some level of enjoyment.
JJ:I just don't understand it because it's not for me.
JJ:But yeah, it's.
JJ:I don't find it funny.
JJ:It's weird and like, it has, like.
JJ:It's jarring because of how often it shifts to a weird story from another story that every time they have to, like, add in a line about a BB gun so that it ties into the overall narrative.
JJ:But other than that, like, it's just jarring.
JJ:And then I hate the narration.
JJ:Like, stupid.
JJ:But anyway, so yeah, one for me.
Matson:Look, teacher scenes and some of those things.
Matson:It was a little try hard to me.
Matson:There's a lot of funny scenes in this movie, but it's nostalgia for me giving this movie A3.
Matson:I like this movie.
Matson:I'm sure I'll watch it again.
Matson:I don't watch it as much as I used to, that's for sure.
Matson:But I will share this movie with my little guy and my little girl when they get old enough to watch it.
Matson:And I'll tell them that Uncle JJ and Alec have no taste and Christmas Scrooges and forget them.
JJ:I've never denied that I was a scrooge.
JJ:In fact, we talked about that last week too, when you are here.
JJ:But your boy, your boy will still love me.
Matson:Now he's going to love Casey because she'll bake delicious things.
JJ:That's fair.
JJ:That's fair.
JJ:All right, Alec, it's time, my friend.
JJ:Tell everybody where they can find us.
Alec:Well, the guys already mentioned kind of where to find us.
Alec:YouTube is the biggest place to do it so you can see our smiling faces and all of our giggles.
Alec:Patreon is the place to really get involved with the content, though.
Alec:And special shout out to our current patrons.
Alec:Rich Mel Brooks and I had to write this one down because it's so long.
Alec:JJ's Extra Large Pepperidge Farm wiener.
JJ:It's called a smoked sausage.
Alec:So Patreon is where all the shenanigans really go down.
Alec:Join us there where you can get behind the scenes content.
Alec:Mostly of us just goofing off and, you know, taking the mick out of each other.
Alec:A little British slang for you guys that I learned and where you can actually suggest topics and then vote on movies that we provide for those topics so you guys have more control over the content that we.
Matson:Are these suggested topics?
Matson:Alec, are these torture devices?
Matson:Because that's surely what it feels like most of the time.
Alec:Legally, I'm required to say suggested topics.
Alec:The torture devices.
Alec:That's in the actual Patreon exclusive content Fair.
Alec:So with that, I'll kick it back to the Maharaja of mash, the King of Crash.
Matson:Oh, Jay, I hear JJ is going to be sharing some pictures of his feet shortly, so tune in.
JJ:Pictures of my feet.
Alec:Feet pics from jj.
JJ:What?
Matson:Hey, that'll get to Patreon bumping.
Matson:Yikes.
JJ:No, it won't.
JJ:Trust me when I say no one wants to see pictures of those, but.
Alec:I feel like I feel a competition coming on because my feet are terrible too.
Alec:We should see who has the worst feet.
Alec:Do one of those.
JJ:Yikes.
JJ:Yikes.
JJ:We'll see what happens.
JJ:So, yeah, with that, as always, we appreciate you tuning in.
JJ:We'll catch you on the next one.
Alec:Baby.
