Bridesmaids (2011)
The central theme of JJ, Alec and Mattson's discourse revolves around the cinematic work "Bridesmaids," a film that has elicited a spectrum of opinions from us regarding its merits and shortcomings. Throughout this episode, we engage in a meticulous examination of the film, which, while possessing certain comedic elements, is ultimately perceived as excessively prolonged and replete with moments that fail to achieve the desired comedic impact. The dialogue traverses the performances of the cast, notably Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy, as we delve into the nuances of their portrayals and the overall chemistry that either enhances or detracts from the narrative. Furthermore, we express our collective sentiments regarding the film's structure, asserting that its attempts at humor frequently exceed acceptable bounds, leading to a dilution of its potential wit. As we conclude our analysis, we offer our ratings, reflecting a consensus that, despite some redeeming qualities, "Bridesmaids" ultimately falls short of the standards expected from a contemporary comedy.
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Transcript
I have good enough tape to refer to other people.
Speaker A:I know my movies are dumb when they're dumb.
Speaker B:Do you?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:But you're my husband, so you can watch whatever I want.
Speaker B:Do you?
Speaker B:That made me happy.
Speaker B:Do you?
Speaker B:You're going to pay for that later, sir.
Speaker B:Welcome to the what's Up Verdict podcast.
Speaker B:We fashion ourselves cinematic judge and Jerry.
Speaker B:My name is J.
Speaker B:Crowder.
Speaker B:I'm here with my co hosts Matz.
Speaker C:Better Red Than Dead and Alec Burgess.
Speaker D:Let's get it.
Speaker B:We appreciate you tuning in.
Speaker B:Go and hit that follow subscribe like bell notification buttons.
Speaker B:Tell a friend about us.
Speaker B:Tell a family member about us.
Speaker B:Tell a someone in a wedding party about us.
Speaker B:Maybe if you're getting married, tell you all of your party, your bridal party or wedding party.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:Just tell everybody at your wedding.
Speaker B:That's all that matters.
Speaker B:Especially you Bridesmaids, I guess.
Speaker B:Look, we're week three, week three of Alex month.
Speaker B:And this is the epitome of Alex month.
Speaker B:Yeah, we're here.
Speaker C:We're.
Speaker B:We're gonna talk about it here in week three.
Speaker B:Bridesmaids.
Speaker B: ,: Speaker B:It was written by Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo.
Speaker B:It was directed by Paul Feig.
Speaker B:It stars Kristen Wiig, my Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Terry Crews, Tom Yee, Elaine Cow, Michael Hitchcock, Kaylee Hawk, Rebel Wilson and Matt Lucas.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's about competition between the maid of honor and a bridesmaid over who is the bride's best friend threatens to upend the life of an out of work pastry chef.
Speaker D:It's really competition though.
Speaker D:I don't know, I feel like it was very one sided.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, I'm interested to hear.
Speaker B:I mean, I know why you picked this 100%.
Speaker D:There was no other reason.
Speaker D:There was no other reason for picking this movie.
Speaker D:I hate it.
Speaker D:I despise bridesmaids in every single way possible.
Speaker D:But I also knew that as much as I hate it, I pretty sure you guys hate it more.
Speaker D:And I've been nice for like two hours.
Speaker D:So it's.
Speaker D:It was really time to just start being a dick again.
Speaker D:That's it.
Speaker D:There's no other reason.
Speaker B:You succeeded.
Speaker B:You succeeded.
Speaker B:I'm assuming, Matson, that you had seen this movie before.
Speaker C:You know, it's funny you say that.
Speaker C:I have.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:I didn't see all of it all the way.
Speaker C:I saw it from like just before, like halfway through, maybe a little bit more than that.
Speaker C:So I'd seen most of it, but I just.
Speaker C:I didn't see like the the beginning.
Speaker C:Genesis of it.
Speaker C:But I.
Speaker C:Yeah, I'd seen it fairly recently for the first time.
Speaker C:Maybe like six months ago or something.
Speaker B:Interesting.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:I hate this movie.
Speaker B:Look, I.
Speaker B:I've saw this movie in the theater.
Speaker B:I don't want to get well.
Speaker B:So Casey is obsessed with Kristen Wiig.
Speaker B:Did we watch Adventureland for the podcast?
Speaker B:We did, right?
Speaker B:I think we did.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Just like maybe.
Speaker D:Yeah, yeah, we did Adventureland.
Speaker C:I don't really like her.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I like her in moments.
Speaker B:Like, I enjoy her in.
Speaker B:When she's in.
Speaker B:When she was.
Speaker B:She did a couple Saturday Night Live for a little while and then she's done.
Speaker B:I like her in certain moments.
Speaker B:This isn't it.
Speaker B:Like, she can't carry a movie.
Speaker B:And the worst part is, is you have one, at least two people in Roseburn and.
Speaker B:Gosh, why I had to have Alec tell me her name again.
Speaker D:Melissa.
Speaker B:Melissa McCarthy.
Speaker B:I should know.
Speaker B:It's Jenny McCarthy's cousin, Melissa McCarthy.
Speaker B:Both can carry a movie, but Kristen Wiig cannot.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:It just.
Speaker B:Neither really can my Rudolph.
Speaker B:She's another one that's really funny in part.
Speaker C:They're hating on Bridesmaids right now.
Speaker B:I hate it.
Speaker C:That's stupid.
Speaker A:It's not a good movie.
Speaker C:You kind of liked it.
Speaker C:It's.
Speaker C:No.
Speaker C:You like dumb movies.
Speaker D:Man of the people right here.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:I thought she was going to defend this a little bit.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker C:Alex just picked it because he knew he'd hate it because we can get creamed.
Speaker A:It's really poorly done.
Speaker A:It's really awkward.
Speaker A:Kristen.
Speaker A:Wig's kind of annoying.
Speaker A:They pick something cute for the guy.
Speaker C:There you have it.
Speaker B:It's rare that.
Speaker C:Should we be done?
Speaker C:If you think we just did it.
Speaker B:There it is.
Speaker B:Five minutes in and we're ready to be done.
Speaker B:She's not wrong.
Speaker B:It's not good.
Speaker B:It's not good.
Speaker B:It was.
Speaker B:I told.
Speaker B:I was telling Alec when I was bitching about it earlier.
Speaker B: angover came out in whatever,: Speaker B:And for like three to five years after that, we got nothing but, like.
Speaker C:They kept trying to find it.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:The copycat versions of it.
Speaker B:And like, there's like, at least a couple of these movies that were around this time frame.
Speaker B:Like Bridesmaid.
Speaker B:There was another one where they went to Vegas and accidentally killed the stripper or whatever.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:There was like a handful of these movies and it just.
Speaker B:They just don't work.
Speaker B:But I think this one's the most egregious to me.
Speaker B:Like, I just.
Speaker B:Just don't like this movie.
Speaker B:And how do they make this movie over two hours long?
Speaker B:Like, what the.
Speaker D:That's.
Speaker C:That's the real crime.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Like, we just finished talking about a movie that was 90 minutes long in perfection, in timing.
Speaker B:And then you watch this slog where I'm like this.
Speaker B:Because it has moments that are really funny, but when it's bad, it's really bad.
Speaker B:And then when it starts to drag because it's bad and it's long, and I'm like, I swore I'd never watch this movie again.
Speaker B:There's a lot of these movies that Alex somehow makes me watch that I swore I would never watch again.
Speaker C:Can we talk about a part that is really funny, though?
Speaker C:Let's talk about the bathroom scene.
Speaker C:Like, the wedding dress bathroom scene.
Speaker C:For me, what this movie did get, right, when Melissa McCarthy, who I'm not a huge fan of, but when she.
Speaker C:In her doses, when she does hit it, right, she's like, look away.
Speaker B:What do we eat?
Speaker B:The six of Goner.
Speaker C:It's coming out of me like lava.
Speaker C:I mean, that scene.
Speaker C:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker C:Like, she killed that.
Speaker C:That.
Speaker C:They killed me.
Speaker C:Like, I died during that scene.
Speaker C:It was so funny.
Speaker C:And then Helen or whatever.
Speaker C:No, what's her name?
Speaker C:Not Helen.
Speaker B:Sorry.
Speaker C:Banksy.
Speaker C:The.
Speaker C:The actual bride, when she got up to the cl.
Speaker C:The street and, like, just squatted down.
Speaker C:You're like, oh, my gosh, it's happening.
Speaker C:That whole scene, that was probably my favorite part of the movie.
Speaker B:What about you, Al?
Speaker B:What do you think of that scene?
Speaker D:I just laugh.
Speaker D:I.
Speaker D:I feel like they went a little bit overboard with it to the point where I'm kind of like, okay, you get.
Speaker D:You can get your point across with less.
Speaker D:Right?
Speaker D:And so the one that I go.
Speaker D:I'm like, oh, you went too far.
Speaker D:Is.
Speaker D:I don't remember her name, but she's the girl who's also in the office for a little bit, but she comes in, like, after the fact and pukes on whoever's puking in the toilet.
Speaker D:That's where I'm like, that.
Speaker D:That was the.
Speaker D:The proverbial line.
Speaker D:I was like, oh, yeah, you found it.
Speaker D:And then you crossed it.
Speaker D:Two foot jump over that sucker.
Speaker D:Yeah, but the rest of it, I'm just cracking up because I don't crime for a bridesmaid dress.
Speaker C:You didn't laugh during that scene, Jay.
Speaker B:Oh, no, no, no.
Speaker B:Listen, I do, but I also, like, I'm with.
Speaker B:I'm with Alec.
Speaker B:Like, there's parts, okay, Melissa McCarthy sitting in the sink, like, Saying it and just sits in the sink and starts in the sink.
Speaker B:Hilarious.
Speaker B:I find the funniest part of that scene, though, is where.
Speaker B:Is when it cuts back to Kristen Wiig and she looks like she's been in a shower because she's sweating so much.
Speaker B:And she's puts the almond in her mouth, like, refreshing.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Roseburn's like, with her.
Speaker B:Like, that moment to me is where in that scene, I'm dying.
Speaker B:And then.
Speaker B:I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker B:Like, when she.
Speaker B:When my real character runs out in the road and, like, starts to slow down and, like, oh, yeah, it's happening, it's happening.
Speaker B:And she's like, go around.
Speaker B:Like, that part makes me laugh.
Speaker B:But I.
Speaker B:I think they did it.
Speaker B:They.
Speaker B:Too long.
Speaker B:Like, you could have had to.
Speaker B:Alex point.
Speaker B:Like, well, she's in the sink before the other girl starts coming in and puking and whatnot.
Speaker B:You could have ended that scene two, three times, and it would have had a more maximum impact than just dragging it out.
Speaker C:See, I.
Speaker C:Yeah, I'm not gonna fight you on that.
Speaker C:The one I felt like much more than that was the car scene where they're trying to get the cop's attention so he can help at the end.
Speaker C:And they did all the shenanigans in the car.
Speaker C:They went back and forth like.
Speaker C:I don't know.
Speaker C:Felt like ten times.
Speaker C:It was probably like seven or eight.
Speaker C:But it was.
Speaker C:That was the classic to me.
Speaker C:I was like, all right.
Speaker C:Like, this is too much.
Speaker C:Like, you did three jokes too many.
Speaker C:Like, let's just.
Speaker C:Just close the book on that.
Speaker D:Yeah, that's it.
Speaker D:That's like, a huge problem throughout the movie because then you can even go back to, you know, the roommates, right?
Speaker D:So Rebel Wilson and another guy's name, but Tweedledee and Tweedledum from the new Alice in Wonderland movie.
Speaker D:Yeah.
Speaker D:Like, there's five or six interactions, and I.
Speaker D:I knew everything I needed about them after one.
Speaker D:And it's not funny.
Speaker D:Like, Rebel Wilson, I think is funny.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker D:On this, it's just weird and it drags out.
Speaker D:But all these scenes, you know, where they take a scene, they stretch it out just a little bit too long, adds to the overall run time.
Speaker D:Right.
Speaker D:And so then it contributes to this slog.
Speaker D:Whereas by themselves, like, if you have the dress trying on scene, right.
Speaker D:And that's the one that you stretch out, it's fine.
Speaker D:And then everything else, you can, you know that that's your one kind of big sing or scene or whatever it is.
Speaker D:But, yeah, they decided to put 15.
Speaker C:Yeah, they could have cut up the whole room.
Speaker C:That would have saved maybe like close to 10 minutes.
Speaker C:That's a good point.
Speaker C:Although I will say if they had to show any of them that the tub scene, I was like, show, show.
Speaker D:That one where it's like, let me borrow your razor and then start.
Speaker D:That's all I need to know.
Speaker D:I don't even know anything else.
Speaker C:I was funny.
Speaker C:I was like, oh, I wasn't expecting that.
Speaker B:Well, and I think that's like the epitome of this.
Speaker B:The problem that what you were talking, when I was talking about, like when, when, when the Hangover came out, that group of people like that ensemble of characters and actors worked really well.
Speaker B:I think to me, the core of the problem with this movie is this ensemble of actors, actresses and characters don't work together because you have three that are just hilarious.
Speaker B:Like, even if you don't like them, you can't help.
Speaker B:Like, because I'm with.
Speaker B:I, I used to not love Melissa McCarthy.
Speaker B:She grew on me over time.
Speaker B:But she's funny.
Speaker B:Even if you don't like her, you can't help.
Speaker B:There's moments that she has where you can't help but laugh.
Speaker B:Same thing with Kristen Wiig.
Speaker B:Most of the time, like she has moments where she's funny.
Speaker B:Rose Byrne is very funnier than you'd think she is.
Speaker B:And so those three, I'm like, okay.
Speaker B:But then I lose track of the other three.
Speaker B:And then bring in the main character.
Speaker B:You bring in the other two character, other two of these bridesmaids.
Speaker B:I'm just like.
Speaker B:And so it's, it's just weird and then it just becomes too much.
Speaker B:And that's the other problem is this produce production group, super bad, docked up, 40 year old virgin have hilarious moments, but they always take it too far.
Speaker B:They go to the extreme.
Speaker B:Really funny movie to me, but they do it even in that.
Speaker B:So it's just, and this one's really like that.
Speaker C:They just go, they really, if you took another like scene they could really done without or done it very fast.
Speaker C:So.
Speaker C:And the airplane scene, they had a lot of different things going on.
Speaker C:The flight attendant, the drugging, the air marshal, the air Marshall joke paid off.
Speaker C:Later we can talk about that.
Speaker C:The whole scene with the food that I hadn't seen before, the unseen, that was disturbing and very funny and very disturbing.
Speaker C:That paid off in the best way.
Speaker C:Like that was fine, but most of that, like that was like 12 to 15 minutes.
Speaker C:And they even had the, the two bit characters that were talking about men and like needing the alcohol.
Speaker C:There was just a lot going on.
Speaker C:Or the person Kristen movie sitting next to that.
Speaker C:I had a dream this plane's going down.
Speaker C:Like you already have so much going on though, that you need.
Speaker C:Like JJ was saying, think picking and choosing your battles.
Speaker C:Because there were a lot of funny things in this movie.
Speaker C:We haven't even talked about the.
Speaker C:The little puppies.
Speaker C:Like Melissa McCarthy.
Speaker C:Another really funny scene.
Speaker C:They had enough of them.
Speaker C:But they.
Speaker C:Like you said Jay's production, he likes to just throw five too many.
Speaker C:You could have made this movie an hour and 40 minutes.
Speaker C:Focus on the spots that were really funny outright and maybe this would have just been a better movie overall.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And I'm.
Speaker B:I don't know, maybe this.
Speaker B:I also think it would have been funnier if it was less about this stupid competition between the two of them.
Speaker B:Like where they're trying to one up each other and she's if.
Speaker B:And it was just.
Speaker B:She bungled everything, you know what I mean?
Speaker B:Instead of like having the comparative pieces of it.
Speaker B:Because that part got old.
Speaker B:Like, I think it was funny that she decided not to eat the meat.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But then every other time when they're like having that tension in the back and forth between her and Rose Byrne and.
Speaker B:And Krista Wiig, I'm like, I.
Speaker B:It lost me.
Speaker B:Like, the scenes of the fuckups were funny enough.
Speaker B:Like, I don't need you to make it awkward and weird with this uncomfortable battle of wills that are going on.
Speaker B:And I'm like, I don't even understand the point of it.
Speaker B:Just have her make this incompetent weirdo her bridesmaid or maid of honor.
Speaker B:And she it up constantly.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Like, that would have been funnier to me than inserting this weird battle of who can be the best bright, like maid of honor.
Speaker B:And I don't know, it just felt so forced that I just get lost in it and without the little bits and like having Melissa McCarthy's actual husband play a freaking air marshal and then have a weird food scene with them later.
Speaker B:Because they can do that.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's just there's certain things that I'm.
Speaker C:Just like, oh, that was her actual.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's her actual husband.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:Oh, that makes a lot more sense why that was even more uncomfortably cringy then.
Speaker C:Because they can do that.
Speaker C:That was when put the like the ham or salami on the nipple and.
Speaker D:Like, look, don't knock until you try it, man.
Speaker C:Oh, my gosh, dude.
Speaker C:I don't like Subway just because I think it's a boring thing to get out to eat because you can make a good sandwich at home.
Speaker C:But that surely reinforced why I don't go get a sandwich.
Speaker C:My gosh.
Speaker C:Oh, we.
Speaker C:Dude.
Speaker C:As far as extra cutscenes go, like that was something.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:No, they're married in real life.
Speaker B:At least they were.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:It's not like I follow them, so I don't know if they actually still are.
Speaker C:That explains a lot.
Speaker C:The other thing I was gonna say about this movie.
Speaker C:And Tay would attest this if she wanted to chime in.
Speaker C:The two.
Speaker C:The.
Speaker C:The bride's soon to be husband and the.
Speaker C:The crush for Kristen Wiggs character.
Speaker C:Both like.
Speaker C:I mean as far as Hollywood goes and what these movies get at.
Speaker C:Like both not for like super attractive dudes.
Speaker C:They're kind of just like meh.
Speaker C:Especially the bride's husband.
Speaker C:He totally like.
Speaker C:I don't know.
Speaker C:Did he?
Speaker C:Look, He.
Speaker C:I.
Speaker C:He had like a butterball face going on.
Speaker B:Like he.
Speaker C:She definitely like did not marry up.
Speaker C:She married down.
Speaker C:And the guy.
Speaker C:You have something to say?
Speaker A:The point of a chick lick is to sit there and ogle at the people.
Speaker A:There's no oogling in this.
Speaker A:It's just cringy cringe.
Speaker A:That's all I gotta say.
Speaker A:You guys pick terrible movies, by the way.
Speaker A:I could have given you like 50 other ones.
Speaker A:But saying it's fine.
Speaker C:You're welcome.
Speaker C:It was Alex.
Speaker D:You're welcome.
Speaker A:Is that why they were all bad?
Speaker C:What do you think?
Speaker B:I mean, they weren't all bad brides.
Speaker A:Me is terrible.
Speaker A:That's all I gotta say.
Speaker A:It's not a real chick.
Speaker D:Okay.
Speaker B:Yeah, it is.
Speaker D:According to, you know, everybody.
Speaker D:It is a real chick flick.
Speaker D:Didn't say it was good one.
Speaker D:It's a terrible chick flick.
Speaker C:It's funny to hear you talk about bad movies taken see like really dumb movies.
Speaker A:Sometimes I have good enough tape to refer to other people.
Speaker A:I know my movies are dumb when they're dumb.
Speaker B:Do you?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:But you're my husband, so you can.
Speaker B:Watch whatever I want.
Speaker B:Do you?
Speaker B:That made me happy.
Speaker B:Do you?
Speaker B:You're gonna pay for that later, sir.
Speaker B:I just.
Speaker C:But I.
Speaker C:I do agree with taste point like the love interest.
Speaker C:I'm like.
Speaker C:I feel like maybe they didn't have the budget, but I didn't really care for the top to.
Speaker C:To be hon.
Speaker C:Okay.
Speaker B:Well, sure.
Speaker B:Well.
Speaker B:And I.
Speaker B:They.
Speaker B:It's funny because they use their budget on what's her bucket's buddy?
Speaker C:Oh, John Ham.
Speaker C:Now he was funny.
Speaker C:I Did like him.
Speaker B:Yeah, like, that whole.
Speaker C:I don't really know how to say this without sounding like a dick, but really want you to leave.
Speaker B:Yeah, okay.
Speaker B:Yeah, well, the aggressive, weird ass.
Speaker B:Like, it's just.
Speaker B:Yeah, but that was funny.
Speaker B:But then the weird dude and the other dude, like, is just like, wait, what?
Speaker B:Like, it's weird.
Speaker B:He's funny again.
Speaker B:He's one that's like.
Speaker B:He's funny, but in this movie, he's wasted.
Speaker C:See, it didn't really.
Speaker C:I don't know.
Speaker C:It didn't really work.
Speaker C:It was just another thing that I wasn't really feeling.
Speaker C:What they were trying to put down with it as much, and they just had a lot of different things they were trying to tell was like, wait, is this more about the.
Speaker C:The bridesmaids thing or is this.
Speaker C:Yes, this is a chick.
Speaker C:Like, we need to have her have, like, a love interest and hope.
Speaker C:But, like, where are we going with this?
Speaker B:Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker B:I think that's the.
Speaker B:The forced.
Speaker B:The love interest thing doesn't work.
Speaker B:Like, in this movie.
Speaker B:Like, it just doesn't.
Speaker B:I don't care if they.
Speaker B:And I think that's a big problem with this movie in general is I just don't care, period.
Speaker B:Like, if this.
Speaker B:I'd rather see this wedding, like, go up in flames than actually be successful.
Speaker B:Like, I just don't care.
Speaker B:It just doesn't.
Speaker B:I don't know.
Speaker B:It's weird.
Speaker C:Or when the bride has the meltdown and they have, like, the reconciliation moment, he's just like, yeah.
Speaker C:Like, yeah, really?
Speaker C:Like, I don't know.
Speaker C:It didn't have.
Speaker C:There was no emotional connection or landing.
Speaker C:You were like, oh, okay.
Speaker C:This is the replacement, the comeback moment.
Speaker C:Like, we're all.
Speaker C:We're all good again.
Speaker C:It's like, okay, yeah.
Speaker B:Well, not to mention that there's no way they're making up.
Speaker B:Like, after all the.
Speaker B:That happens, like, the.
Speaker B:The dress trying on, like, somebody had to pay for the dress, like.
Speaker B:And, like, it's just not gonna.
Speaker B:Nope.
Speaker B:You're not gonna be friends.
Speaker B:I'm not gonna be friends.
Speaker B:If I ate something, it made me that sick.
Speaker B:And I'm in the middle of the street with a dress, a wedding dress on that cost probably tens of thousands of dollars.
Speaker B:We're not friends anymore.
Speaker B:You know what I mean?
Speaker C:Wow.
Speaker C:You heard it here first.
Speaker C:JJ Might be my best shallow friend.
Speaker B:Hey, I'm telling you right now, I will put up with a lot, but if you got me in the street, probably out.
Speaker D:Like, how you said probably.
Speaker C:Probably.
Speaker D:Well, I mean, that door cracked.
Speaker C:J.J.
Speaker C:who's gonna.
Speaker C:Who's gonna play video games with you on a Saturday night?
Speaker B:Myself.
Speaker C:I'm bad.
Speaker C:I'm more fun than just yourself.
Speaker B:That's fair.
Speaker B:But you're also not gonna take me to some shitty Brazilian restaurant and have me myself.
Speaker C:Well, I'd be with you.
Speaker C:So we do it together.
Speaker B:Yeah, I mean, well.
Speaker B:And I guess the real thing is I'm gonna go into that place and go, nah, let's go to the Chinese joint down the street.
Speaker B:I'm not eating here, boys.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:I could barely eat normal food without myself a little bit, so why the would I eat that?
Speaker B:Like, get the out of here.
Speaker D:It's a cleanse.
Speaker D:Okay?
Speaker B:Yeah, but when you live a life when you can look at greens and I'm cleansed, I'm not eating rotten ass meat.
Speaker B:It's this that's asking for.
Speaker D:Cook it more.
Speaker D:You'll be fine.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Oh, God.
Speaker B:What was it?
Speaker B:Was it.
Speaker B:Was it Brazilian food or was it.
Speaker B:I couldn't remember.
Speaker B:Like, and I've never been a fan of, like, a.
Speaker B:What's that?
Speaker C:You don't like Tucanos in Utah?
Speaker B:No.
Speaker B:Well, so the first time I experienced it was in Scottsdale, Arizona, actually.
Speaker B:There was a Rhodesio Grill right there on.
Speaker B:Was it Shea Shay and what's the other one that run Franklin?
Speaker B:I don't remember.
Speaker B:Anyway, two major roads.
Speaker B:Like, there was a Rhodesio Grill, and I don't know if it's still there.
Speaker B: It's back in, like: Speaker B:The family took us there.
Speaker B:And I was like, oh, this is weird.
Speaker B:They're cutting meats off a stick right at your table.
Speaker B:I'm like, how many people have touched this?
Speaker B:Like, I can't.
Speaker B:It was a bother for me.
Speaker B:Like, I don't, like.
Speaker B:I also don't, like.
Speaker B:Like, the work parties were like, bring your own.
Speaker B:I'm out.
Speaker B:I'm not doing this buffet.
Speaker B:Like, I don't know what your kitchen looks like.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I'm not eating it.
Speaker B:So, yeah, I struggled.
Speaker D:Look, that extra dirt seasoning, jj, that's texture.
Speaker D:It gives it a little crunch clippings in there.
Speaker D:You'll be.
Speaker B:Ah, but that's.
Speaker B:I, you know, I've.
Speaker B:I've done too many things, and that allowed me to go into people's houses at random or, you know, and I'm like, walking in going, I don't want to eat their food.
Speaker B:And so it's like, jj, you one.
Speaker C:Of those people that someone brings you homemade cookies, and you're like, I Don't know enough about you.
Speaker C:These are going straight to the trash.
Speaker B:I re gift a lot of gifts that are left at my doorstep, like cookies and snacks and treats and that are homemade.
Speaker B:That gets stuck at my door if I don't know who.
Speaker B:There's certain family members or like certain people in the neighborhood that when they drop it off, I get excited about their cookies.
Speaker B:Others, I don't.
Speaker C:Word to the wise, people just put weed in your.
Speaker C:Your desserts.
Speaker C:You drop them in off at the.
Speaker C:The Crowder household.
Speaker C:JJ will probably eat them.
Speaker B:That's completely and utterly fair.
Speaker B:You just tell me and I'll.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'll make do with some dirt in my food if there's goodies in it.
Speaker B:But if you just bring me like those sugar cookies with the Hershey's Kisses in them and I don't know.
Speaker B:I don't.
Speaker B:I've never seen your kitchen.
Speaker B:It's probably going on somebody else's doorstep down the road.
Speaker B:That's a good thing.
Speaker B:None of my neighbors listen to us.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I'll do.
Speaker B:I'll tell you what.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I love it when the ward in our area starts dropping off for my parents.
Speaker B:My parents are both diabetic.
Speaker B:They're not eating sugar and candy.
Speaker B:That goes right to another house.
Speaker B:There's a couple.
Speaker B:There's a lady that drops fudge every year.
Speaker B:I eat the shit out of that fudge.
Speaker B:Like it's delicious.
Speaker B:And I've been in her house and it.
Speaker B:She's clean.
Speaker C:Well, what JJ is also not telling us is he.
Speaker C:His partner, AKA Casey, is also one of the best bakers that I have ever had the privilege of eating from.
Speaker C:She is quite good.
Speaker C:She'll probably be in those, like one of those baking competitions for at home bakers on like the Food Network because I feel like she'd do pretty decent.
Speaker C:She'd also be great for television because when the pressure comes in, I don't know exactly what type of casing we'd be getting on tv, but I'd be here for it.
Speaker B:Somebody had chopped might be getting murked in the middle of the episode.
Speaker B:The great.
Speaker B:The great British Baking show.
Speaker B:American Ruins.
Speaker B:The great British Baking Show.
Speaker C:The producer would have to come in and be like, you know, we do have like early teenagers that watch this.
Speaker C:We need like, let's.
Speaker C:Let's dial it back just a little bit.
Speaker C:Maybe don't look like you're stabbing someone with your eyes.
Speaker B:That's fair.
Speaker B:That and like they.
Speaker B:The beep like you'd have.
Speaker B:You get no words in Ed's wise because she'd be.
Speaker B:They'd be filming her station and none of this behind where they walk behind my eyes.
Speaker B:Get the out of my way.
Speaker C:Yeah, that should be throwing shoulders at people.
Speaker B:Move.
Speaker B:She has no kitchen etiquette.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:No, It's.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:She can bake, though.
Speaker B:Oh, that is truth.
Speaker B:That is truth.
Speaker B:And we keep our kitchen bake.
Speaker C:There's a reason why JJ can't really fully.
Speaker C:Like, if he said he was going on a diet, a big Jay.
Speaker C:I'm sorry.
Speaker C:But next time she tries to bake, all the progress is gone.
Speaker B:Yeah, it doesn't work.
Speaker B:Like, that's.
Speaker C:It'd be gone for me too.
Speaker C:I'd be 30 pounds heavier if I lived there too.
Speaker B:Dude, I'm telling you, it's.
Speaker B:It's great because I'm the taste tester, but it's bad because I'm the taste tester.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:And she's got these high quality control standards.
Speaker B:Like, that's another reason.
Speaker B:Like, I can't.
Speaker B:She, like, she'll throw cheeky cookies.
Speaker B:There's like a pile of.
Speaker B:She's like, yeah, it didn't pass quality control because there's like a smudge in the frosting.
Speaker C:Or JJ's over there, like, and I'm like, pretty good.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Sometimes I like, she'll walk away and I'll be like, put my finger in the frosting over there to make it.
Speaker B:Yeah, that one doesn't pass quality control.
Speaker B:It's not true.
Speaker B:I have never sabotaged any of her baking.
Speaker C:Casey's.
Speaker C:Listen.
Speaker B:On the off chance she actually watches this episode, she's not here right now.
Speaker B:She's traveling.
Speaker B:But on the off chance I don't want to get.
Speaker B:It's like we talked about in our.
Speaker B:If you listen to our Patreon, there'll be a pre clip that you'll see where we talk about me waking up penis list.
Speaker C:Casey, I hope you do listen to this.
Speaker C:Please send me goodies.
Speaker C:Like, I'm.
Speaker C:I know you only usually do for people that are in person.
Speaker C:I get it.
Speaker C:It's the right thing to do.
Speaker C:Things don't ship as well.
Speaker C:But I miss your baked goods.
Speaker C:They're so good.
Speaker C:I put up with being in JJ's freezing cold house for your food.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's delicious.
Speaker B:She made it a weird place to.
Speaker C:Be because the kitchen can be nice and warm.
Speaker C:You walk three feet, five feet away from the oven.
Speaker C:It can be a cold place in hell.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:Usually that's the first thing I do.
Speaker B:She starts baking.
Speaker B:If I'm in the kitchen with her.
Speaker B:That sliding door gets opened.
Speaker B:I don't care what time of year.
Speaker C:I know.
Speaker B:Unless it's summer.
Speaker C:If it's summer, then summer.
Speaker B:Yeah, Unless.
Speaker C:Yeah, but your summer house, it's you.
Speaker C:You go outside, come back in, you're like, in an igloo because you rightfully.
Speaker C:So.
Speaker C:That AC is working, but JJ's got his AC technician and, like, speed dial, too.
Speaker C:Spanking it.
Speaker C:Can't.
Speaker C:That just can't go.
Speaker C:Are you.
Speaker B:I pay a monthly membership to my heating and air conditioning at my H vac guys.
Speaker B:I have them on retainer.
Speaker C:No, they love JJ.
Speaker C:They're like, hey, souped up coolant.
Speaker C:They're like, call Mr.
Speaker C:Crowder.
Speaker C:He'll get it.
Speaker B:Oh, a right.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:No, when she starts baking in the summer, I have a.
Speaker B:A standing air conditioner, like, portable air conditioner that goes on in the kitchen because it just too.
Speaker B:It's sauna in my house, and I can't.
Speaker C:JJ's only walking in for goodies and getting out.
Speaker B:I usually will meet her at the door and be like, I'll see you.
Speaker B:See you when you're done.
Speaker B:It's miserable horrid in there.
Speaker B:She turns that goddamn convection oven on, and I'm like, oh, it gets so hot.
Speaker B:And then she's usually making something else that she like toppings and that she's, like, making a sauce or something.
Speaker B:And I'm like, turn all the heat off.
Speaker B:I hate it.
Speaker B:Thankfully, most of the baking she does in bulk is during the cooler months of the year.
Speaker B:So anyway, we're like, yeah, should we rate rides with it since we all hate it and Alex just torturing us.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker C:Stupid movie.
Speaker D:Alex, I'm gonna give this a very, very, very generous zero.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker B:Nice.
Speaker D:Well, I will watch this again, but it will only be because I torturing somebody else who has never seen it before.
Speaker B:That's fair.
Speaker B:Yeah, it's terrible.
Speaker C:Oh, what am I gonna rate this?
Speaker C:It's not a zero, but it's way too long.
Speaker C:Way too exaggerated.
Speaker C:It does have some funny parts to talk to.
Speaker C:Can't.
Speaker C:Can't get away from that, but I'll give it a one.
Speaker C:I've seen many worse things, but this movie's long.
Speaker C:Like, I forgot when J just says, like, damn, this movie is long.
Speaker C:It's a one.
Speaker C:I don't think I'll ever watch it again.
Speaker C:But if there was a couple parts, I mean, I'll remember some.
Speaker C:Like the food porn scene, the nine puppies in the van.
Speaker C:Really like anything in that Melissa McCarthy was a part of.
Speaker C:Like, I don't love her, but she is funny.
Speaker C:Like, outright funny.
Speaker C:I have to give her credit and she did make this movie funny.
Speaker C:Other than that, this movie's trash.
Speaker B:Yeah, I'm gonna hop on the One train as well.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:Look, we've watched Moonfall and Goddamn Dolphin Sex, so I can't give it less than a one because at least it's not those two movies.
Speaker B:But it's bad, it's long, it drags on.
Speaker B:It's not that funny most of the time.
Speaker B:And when it is, they take it too far.
Speaker B:They get.
Speaker B:They hit a joke and then they ruin the same joke two minutes later.
Speaker B:And so it's like, just stop.
Speaker B:So I just don't.
Speaker B:Yeah, and I will.
Speaker B:The one good thing about Alec torturing us on the podcast, as he tends to do, is that once I've watched this movie now, I don't ever have to watch this movie again.
Speaker B:There.
Speaker B:The only reason I've watched this movie since the Lab the last time before this most recent time was because of the goddamn podcast.
Speaker B:So now that it's done, I'll never watch this movie again.
Speaker D:We should do a month of greatest hits and greatest misses and then rewatch.
Speaker B:It'll never happen again now that I know that some movies will end up on that list.
Speaker B:Like, I think that'd be a great idea.
Speaker B:Except for Alec will purposely make sure that my life's hell for a month.
Speaker D:July is just.
Speaker D:She dies tomorrow.
Speaker D:Moonfall.
Speaker B:Jeez, that's just torture.
Speaker B:Yeah, one for me.
Speaker B:And I will actively do everything I can to never watch this shitty movie again.
Speaker B:So there it is.
Speaker B:Week three in the books.
Speaker B:Only one left.
Speaker B:Looking forward to that one.
Speaker B:Should be fun.
Speaker B:But Alec, tell everybody where they can find us.
Speaker D:Happy to thank you for tuning in to week three of my month.
Speaker D:Once again, the greatest month ever month.
Speaker D:Special thanks to our patrons, Rich and CB for making a selection on this month and for picking the movie to torture JJ and Matson with it.
Speaker D:I appreciate you guys very, very much.
Speaker D:Patreon is the best place to get involved with the content guys.
Speaker D:So find us there at.
Speaker D:What's our verdict?
Speaker D:Reviews where we have votes going out to anybody, anybody who wants to join in on the Patreon.
Speaker D:No payment required to get involved with the voting process to vote on movies that we're going to be doing in the future.
Speaker D:We also have.
Speaker D:What is it up to now?
Speaker D:Close to 450 behind the scenes episodes, outtakes, goodies that are behind a paywall.
Speaker D:But it's about doubling the what's Our Verdict?
Speaker D:Content.
Speaker D:So if you guys like what you see, go ahead and join us there at what's Our Verdict Reviews.
Speaker D:With that, I will kick it back to the.
Speaker D:Oh, let's see.
Speaker D:Wise Deer of Wap, the Mauling Mastodon.
Speaker D:Haven't done that one.
Speaker D:Nice, jj.
Speaker B:Dude, the Wazir of Wap gets me every time because all I think about is that song.
Speaker B:Anyway, with that, as always, we appreciate you tuning in.
Speaker B:We'll catch you on the next one.
Speaker D:What.
