Ernest Scared Stupid (1991)

JJ: 00:00:00

I was ten years old when this movie came out, AJ.

Mattson: 00:00:02

of: 1991

We don't know where Alec was.

Alec: 00:00:15

I was two years away.

JJ: 00:00:18

He wasn't even swimming yet. This dude was like, welcome to the what's already podcast, where we fashion ourselves cinematic judge and Jerry. My name is JJ Crowder.

I'm here with my co hosts, Mattson.

Mattson: 00:00:36

Heiner, but David avid. Avid, a better red and dead, and Alec Burgess.

Alec: 00:00:41

I'm not saying it again. You missed your shot, JJ. Let's get it.

JJ: 00:00:44

Yeah. If you want to see that shit, go join our Patreon. You can see up JJ doing messed up out here. Yeah, it's the theme of the night, but, yeah, you can.

You can go see that Alec out take if you go check out our Patreon.

Mattson: 00:00:56

Speaking of the night, JJ, let me just get it in here. For those of you that are on our podcast. Can't see my background, but got some spooky in here.

JJ: 00:01:06

That's right. And it fits with the theme of the month. We're back with week two of not so scary scary movies.

Um, it's been a fun one that we've been appeasing to Alex. I mean, it's funny.

Alec: 00:01:19

Long list of demands.

JJ: 00:01:21

Yeah, we got to keep Alec around. We like him most.

Alec: 00:01:24

I don't know why, but. Yeah, I'm happy to take that.

JJ: 00:01:27

As I say, we haven't figured it out yet either. But we do like him for the most part. But as always, we appreciate you guys tuning in. Go and hit that. Follow subscribe like Bell Notification button.

Tell a friend about us. Tell your family about us. Tell a troll or a weird, silly garbage man that only has kids for friends about us. Don't do that. We don't.

That shit got weird, but after I said it, I went, that sounds way not good.

Alec: 00:01:56

What movie are we reviewing, JJ?

JJ: 00:01:58

I was going to say, it makes me question this movie a little bit more than I ever have. But, yeah, we're here talking about earnest, scared stupid, and that particular movie was. Why is that not going? There we go. It was released.

,: 1991

It stars Jim Varney, Eartha Kitty. Oh, my computer is being a dick.

Alec: 00:02:32

Sorry, I didn't see them in the cast list.

JJ: 00:02:35

What? No, they were there. Jim Harney, Eartha Kit Austin, Niglar Shea, Astar, Jonas Moscow Tolo, John Kadenhead, Bill Birds, Richard Wolf, and Nick Victory.

It's about. I can't wait to read this synopsis.

Ernest, who accidentally unleashes an ugly troll that plots to transform children into wooden dolls in the town of Briarville, Missouri. This is a me pick and I, both of my picks for this were like two very nostalgic shit that I used to watch these movies constantly.

And this one was one that I was ten years old when this movie came out.

Mattson: 00:03:17

of: 1991

Alec: 00:03:30

I was two years away.

JJ: 00:03:34

He wasn't even swimming yet. This dude was like, yeah, I was ten. I on the verge of eleven. I was like six months from eleven years old when this movie came out.

And I grew up on the earnest movies because there's like six of them or seven of them, like, and we'll obviously talk a little bit more about old, our friend Jim Varney. But like, these movies were in the eighties and nineties. They were staples, man.

Everybody who knew who Ernest was, people were running around saying, come on, Verne, like you're talking to Verne. And just like it, they were there. And this one stuck out to me because as we know, I love horror movies.

And as a little kid, like, some of this shit was a little creepy. The troll was a little creepy.

And like the, and I'm a texture guy, so like, the slime that's always on this dude and like coming off the little eggs or whatever it was of like his other troll friends, like, it always creep me the fuck out, cuz, like, I don't like how it looks like that would feel.

And so, yeah, when I was ten years old, it was a little creepy, especially because this dude's kidnapping ten year old kids and turning them into wooden dolls. You never know. But yeah, like, now I look back on it and I still, there were parts I remember as a kid laughing my ass off.

And I still giggled nostalgically, of course. But yeah, I had a good time with it. It was fun to revisit a movie I hadn't seen in 20 plus years, no matter how bad it might be.

Mattson: 00:05:13

And what I prayed I had the nostalgia factor in this one and it never came to me. But I can't, I can't poo poo. JJ for that factor, because we all have our movies that hit that vein, and I thought this was an Alec pick.

I'm just going to be frank. But now.

Now hearing that this was JJ, like, JJ when he recommended this, he's like, oh, yeah, Matt's just gonna dun hate this movie because he definitely didn't see this as a child. And if you haven't seen this as a child, and I'm just gonna tell you right now, don't watch it. Maybe wait till you have kids or nieces or nephews.

Then it'll be, like, acceptable, and you can get through it. But wait, dude. But I probably just wait for Alec to tell me that he really liked this movie, because I wouldn't be surprised.

Alec: 00:06:01

Yeah. Everything Matson just said was wrong. This was the first time I've ever seen this movie, and it's pure gold.

Mattson: 00:06:09

Oh, my gosh.

Alec: 00:06:13

Phenomenal. Who was the dog who played Rimshaw or rickshaw?

JJ: 00:06:18

Right. Rimshot.

Alec: 00:06:19

Fucking brilliant. Deserves an Oscar, this guy. Yeah, whatever it was. I don't even know at this point.

It could have been a small alien in the costume, but phenomenal performance. Then you mix in the fact that Jim Varney.

JJ: 00:06:37

Oh, hello.

Alec: 00:06:38

Beautifully done. Um. Oh, yeah, I loved. I was giggling the whole time, and it even got me like, oh, did it? Yeah.

Like, I forget the fat kid's name, but when Kenny was talking to the kid.

JJ: 00:06:51

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alec: 00:06:53

There was no reason to have the troll, have the girl's voice. Just saying that. Right. There was zero reason for that. But they went there, and when poor old Kenny turns around after sticking his head in a pipe.

JJ: 00:07:05

Yeah.

Alec: 00:07:05

And there's. There's troll right there.

JJ: 00:07:09

That's hilarious. I love that.

Alec: 00:07:13

Well, I knew it was coming. I just thought the troll.

JJ: 00:07:14

Sure.

Alec: 00:07:16

I was like, there's no reason. You got to go over there, Kenny.

JJ: 00:07:19

Yeah.

Alec: 00:07:19

Don't. Don't do that.

JJ: 00:07:20

Don't. Don't go in the pipe. Yeah. Why would you do that?

Alec: 00:07:22

Bad idea. And then, like, when he's booking it and they still got the girl's voice going.

JJ: 00:07:28

Yeah.

Alec: 00:07:29

Trolls. Like, I'm gonna catch you. I'm right behind you. I was like, dude.

JJ: 00:07:35

I love that. I love that. I'm glad I got you.

Mattson: 00:07:41

What about the. Unless I just space out. What about these wooden dolls as well? Did those get you?

Alec: 00:07:47

Not as much. Because they had the kind of goofy blue magic nineties scene.

Something that I did realize that I never really realized because I didn't necessarily grow up in the nineties since I was, you know, seven when they ended. I was around, but not paying attention. There really was only, like, one movie made in the nineties, and they just copied and pasted it.

JJ: 00:08:07

Yeah, yeah, it's fair. I wish I could fucking argue with you. I grew up in that decade, and that's fucking pretty accurate.

And if they didn't copy the whole movie, they certainly did certain effects. Like, you're like that shit before, over.

Alec: 00:08:25

Elaborate mechanical gizmo that goes wrong, building sequence that, you know, pulleys and ropes with ingredients and stuff that kids should not have access to. Yeah, I was like this. The nineties really just was one long.

Mattson: 00:08:40

Maybe one of the reasons JJ liked this movie is because it was one of the first earnest films to be released on VHS. Became very popular to watch this for Halloween. Halloween.

JJ: 00:08:50

I wore that VHS out at least twice, too, because I used to watch the shit out of this because I laughed like, okay, first of all, before we get into my laughter about this movie, is that dog's name was Barkley.

Alec: 00:09:02

MVP.

JJ: 00:09:04

It was. He was in earnest goes to jail as well. So we know Alex can be watching that one soon. Also, his rim shot.

He was in a movie called Clean Slate, Burke's law. He was sparky from full house. He was in a movie called dogmatic magic. Magic three D and the husband.

Alec: 00:09:23

So MVP right there.

JJ: 00:09:26

But yeah, no, Barkley, Rim shot. He's the greatest.

Mattson: 00:09:32

Rim shot just sounds so dirty.

JJ: 00:09:35

It does.

Alec: 00:09:35

Well, only if you think about it. Like, that's what I thought about.

Mattson: 00:09:40

I was like, are they trying to swing you?

Alec: 00:09:43

Problem?

Mattson: 00:09:44

I don't know. Do that.

JJ: 00:09:46

Here's.

Here's the problem that I had with that is because as soon as I said it for the podcast, like, we were sitting here talking, and I said, oh, yeah, rim shot. I went, that doesn't sound good. But every time I heard it before that, I think about a drum. Rim shot.

Because that's what you call when they snare drum. They hit the rim and the drum at the same time, so it sounds.

Mattson: 00:10:05

Like a gunshot change.

JJ: 00:10:07

JJ, I know I'm fucking old, but I'm just telling you, like, I didn't think about it dirty until I got on this podcast with Matson. And then the dirty went into my head. So how is it that you're dirtier than me in this moment? I'm going to live for this moment.

Alec: 00:10:19

And remind me, normally, we're the degenerates, Matz.

JJ: 00:10:23

That's the first thing. Hey.

Mattson: 00:10:24

And I laughed about. They're like, oh, did they plan it like this? Made me think of all the Disney innuendo that they have hidden in there through the years, it's fair.

JJ: 00:10:33

I do love a good animated innuendo.

Mattson: 00:10:35

There's a. There's a lot. JJ is one of JJ's favorite animated movies. That robot one. They got some stuff in there, dude.

JJ: 00:10:43

I still like.

Mattson: 00:10:44

We need to review that, JJ. We got to figure out a way to do that, because I want to actually talk about an animated movie. You like.

JJ: 00:10:50

I do giggle my ass off in that movie quite a bit because of the dirty jokes and little. Little hints there. But yeah, no, this movie to me. And I still, like, I was worried.

I haven't watched this movie in two decades, probably maybe 25 years. And so. But I'll tell you right now, like, the part where he's fighting him in the truck and he's like, eat bumper booger lips.

Like, I lost my shit again. Like, I remember as a kid just dying at that line, and we used to run around calling people booger lips, like, just because of this movie.

And so I was, like, cackling at that. I was laughing at the whole, like, the big giant bear trap that he's, like, trying to. And he disses rim shot.

Like, he fucking says, like, tells rim shot. He's an ugly kid. And he's like, the dog walks away with the stick. And he's like, oh, no. And he's shaking. It's really stupid.

But I laugh my ass off again. So there were so many. I had a great time rewatching this film because of how many times I found myself laughing at the shit that I was like.

And it wasn't like I was laughing at the film.

I was laughing at how much I remembered laughing at that joke when I was ten years older, eleven years old or whatever, you know, whenever I was watching it for years. But, yeah, great time. Can't wait to share this with my. My nephew. He's still young enough that I think he would appreciate this movie.

My nieces are too old, but my nephew, I think, would still appreciate it. And then Casey's niece, I think if she can get past similar scary.

I'm like, God, we gotta watch this shit with the kids because I want to watch them, hopefully laugh their ass off the way that I did when I was a kid, because nowadays I care too much about. It's not actually that funny because I'm an adult, but as a kid, that shit was hilarious.

Like, and when they're throwing pizzas and shit at the bullies, like, fucking the cat food or whatever, like, the livers and shit. Hilarious. Still hilarious to me. Loved it.

Mattson: 00:12:50

JJ really connected with inner little JJ, and they had a moment.

JJ: 00:12:55

Oh, yeah.

Mattson: 00:12:56

I'm happy for that.

That makes me happy, because, you know, when I get to watch some animated movies that JJ just hates and poo poo's all over, those are the feelings that I have.

JJ: 00:13:05

Fair enough.

Alec: 00:13:06

Yeah, but nobody cares about your feelings about it.

Mattson: 00:13:10

I'm not surprised to hear you say that, Alec, because I wonder if you have feelings.

Alec: 00:13:15

I don't. They're just a waste of time.

JJ: 00:13:20

Except when he's watching, Ernest goes, Ernest scared, stupid. Then he.

Mattson: 00:13:24

Or he's watching a horror, a real one, as we will hear shortly that you all should tune into. He's feeling scared. We know this. I can't wait to see this in real time because I don't even know what I'm going to get in store for.

I digress, listeners. Look out for that. It's going to be a good one.

JJ: 00:13:39

Yeah, it is. I want to hear more, Alec. Like, what did you like about this film?

Because I love that you loved, like, enjoyed it, but I want to hear more about what.

Mattson: 00:13:47

That's good. You didn't ask me, because, I'll be honest. This is one of those films. I don't have much to really offer anymore, except it didn't work for me.

But I'm. Again, I thought this was an Alec pick. I should have known this as a JJ giggler, but, yeah, help us out.

We got to fill some content, because I'm too mean right now.

Alec: 00:14:08

It's hard to pick out stuff I didn't like, if I'm honest. So most of the movie I enjoyed, down to it was kind of, like I said, the nineties. Yeah, there's one movie.

And so you have the, you know, quirky little contraption at the beginning where he's the sanitation officer. He's like, I got it all figured out. And the sequence ends with him in a cube of trash falling out of.

JJ: 00:14:34

The truck with his head and then his legs the wrong way, like, pointing at, like, to this impossible angle that he would be dead. Like, yeah.

Alec: 00:14:45

And then you got the. The crazy old witch house that he has to go, oh, looks like nobody's home. Let's go. Rim shot.

So it was every little thing, you know, down to building a treehouse, and then, you know, like, being left alone in the treehouse.

JJ: 00:15:09

I love that they. I love to. They built this immaculate, friggin high tech tree house in, like, an hour.

Alec: 00:15:18

Well, they got pulley systems.

JJ: 00:15:20

Yeah, it's got pizza launchers and fucking. And he did it in the same afternoon that they were getting bullied in the morning.

Alec: 00:15:30

Just everything. Like, I mean, and it's the little things too, right?

Where he's first talking to Kenny about the, you know, haunted house being wrecked, and he's jacking up the truck and just keeps on jacking up the truck, and you're kind of sitting there going, oh, I know, it's gonna happen.

JJ: 00:15:44

Yeah.

Alec: 00:15:44

And then instead of it hitting him or hitting the wall or something, it goes right through the mayor's window, which means this thing flew, like, a half a mile.

JJ: 00:15:56

That's the best.

Alec: 00:15:58

And so it's all these little things that throughout the entire movie, I was just giggling until the troll really showed up in earnest, and then I was a little bit more terrified. But, I mean, the practical effects in this movie too.

JJ: 00:16:12

Yeah.

Alec: 00:16:12

Like, you know, this is, this is the nineties CGI is little to none of, especially in a movie like this. Probably none. And so everything's built, everything's got this practical side to it. So the troll, dude.

JJ: 00:16:24

Amazing.

Mattson: 00:16:25

I will still give it that. The practical effects. Good job. We know where I stand in that. It's just, it's always good to see that.

Alec: 00:16:31

And then freaking, like, Barkley the dog, like, holy smokes. Perfect, right?

And that's not easy, working with the animals to where I would be surprised if he missed a mark on any occasions because his herd didn't seem like it with, you know, him in the very beginning controlling the truck to then when Ernest is fighting the troll in the truck, and you just get a shot of rim shot, it's so good dying out.

Mattson: 00:17:11

The acting is so cringe worthy. When they discovered Ernest in the back of the dump truck, whatever. He's about to die, and they're like, oh, I think someone's in here.

Knows exactly where to open all things. Like, get out of here. Or as JJ would say, fuck off.

JJ: 00:17:27

Like, yes, I got Madsen to say the fuck.

Mattson: 00:17:32

It's gonna be a short Mister JJ. But I know it's a kids movie. Gotta look past. I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, this is just so stupid. Like, come on. Like, come on.

JJ: 00:17:44

But, you know, nineties child actors weren't up to the same level as they are.

Mattson: 00:17:48

No, they weren't. It was so bad. He like, look at him. Like, I think someone's in here. Let's open this right here.

JJ: 00:17:56

Like, it was a nice Star wars reference in that moment, though, where he's trying to block the freaking trash compactor with the muffler and the shovel. And it's great. I laughed.

Mattson: 00:18:08

Good stuff.

Alec: 00:18:09

Great cinema.

JJ: 00:18:11

s that are like, rack up the $: 1800

u got the troll fucking thing: 9000

And then that voice I still like. What? My whole life I've done stuff is like rim shot, we've got the troll. Like, that whole, it's just I fucking love.

Which, of course, leads me to Jim Barney, who is an, was an absolute genius. Like, it was a terrible, terrible day when that man died. And, uh, he was quite young, I believe, too. I don't think he was more than 50 years old.

Mattson: 00:19:05

He's got good facial expressions. He's very good physical acting.

JJ: 00:19:10

Yeah, I think he was, he was really, really young. And he was from one of my, he was from Kentucky, which is awesome. Um, but yeah, he's just so funny. And to Matt's, it's your point.

Like, his facial expressions and like, throughout the movies and I don't remember, I'm sure he did it in this one, but I was too busy giggling and reminiscing. Well, he has that, like that. He does that in every movie and it shouldn't be funny, but it is. But, yeah, he's, he's hysterical and he's just great.

And he does a lot of, he did a lot of voiceover work, so he's in a lot of animated films and you'd never know it. And then he just did a lot of, like, bit pieces here and there.

But, yeah, he, there's, and there's a ton, a ton of earnest movies that are just all over the place from the eighties. And he had his own tv show for a while. It only lasted for like one season, but it was like, hey, vern, it's Earnest.

And I, so I grew up with this dude, like, Jim Varney playing Earnest and then was really excited. I went and saw the remake of the Beverly Hillbillies just because he was in it. And I was like, so, like, there's nothing Jim Varney could do that.

I wasn't like, let's go see Jim Varney do something because he just, yeah, he was. He was a guy from my childhood, so that face, that voice. I'm like, holy shit. Awesome.

Alec: 00:20:46

Plus, he voices a character to Mattson's favorite true all time.

JJ: 00:20:50

It's true. He does.

Mattson: 00:20:52

Oh, I should know.

JJ: 00:20:53

Which one.

Mattson: 00:20:56

Is it? No, it's not.

Alec: 00:20:59

Oh, well, I should say favorite animated movie of all.

JJ: 00:21:02

Yeah.

Mattson: 00:21:05

It can't be Rex, is it?

JJ: 00:21:07

No.

Mattson: 00:21:07

Yeah, it's not. Because I'm thinking, I know who the guy that does Rex. I'm trying to think.

JJ: 00:21:11

Yeah, no, the right.

Mattson: 00:21:14

Do I have the right movie?

Alec: 00:21:19

It is sleek.

Mattson: 00:21:20

Yeah, yeah, Rex. I'm like, no, I know that guy. It's not his voice. Yeah, think of the voice a little more. It's slink. Yeah.

JJ: 00:21:27

things he, he did. He died in: 2000

Alec: 00:21:36

Yeah, that would have been one of the last ones.

JJ: 00:21:39

Toy story two. Yeah. Jim Varner man. Or Jim Varney man. He's guy was great. Funny.

The other one that always got me was like, ernest goes to jail and then Ernest goes to camp. I think was another one that I grew up on. And then Ernest saves Christmas.

Like, all of those, the earnest movies were like, after this one, they were all like, I gotta watch this. It was just great. But, yeah, loved it. How, uh, alec, how did you handle old, uh, old lady Hackmore? Because earth, the kid kills it, dude.

Like, she was creepy as fuck.

Alec: 00:22:17

So I was like, I was thinking the entire time, straight holes, right? Because she's. And I was so that's what it was, like, stuck in my mind.

And so I was having trouble going back and forth between the two, but batshit crazy and played it well. I was. I was very impressed.

Mattson: 00:22:38

Is she the one that plays easma?

JJ: 00:22:41

Uh huh. She's.

Mattson: 00:22:43

I was like, oh, that's easema's voice for sure. Yeah.

JJ: 00:22:46

She is a very recognizable voice. For sure. She's been.

Mattson: 00:22:51

That could be Darth Maul's voiceover.

JJ: 00:22:56

Finally we can reveal ourselves to the Sith or the Jedi. That's great.

Mattson: 00:23:03

Have been funny. Or you should. What's the guy that plays crunk? He's a famous actor. It's Patrick.

Alec: 00:23:09

Patrick Warburton.

JJ: 00:23:09

Warburton.

Mattson: 00:23:10

Yeah, that was, I mean, like, all these different types. We just need to do a whole.

JJ: 00:23:15

Like, series of Darth Vader. Finally we can reveal ourselves to the Jedi. That would be good. There it is. That's the next project.

We've come up with a lot of fucking projects for ourselves.

Alec: 00:23:29

Darth Sidious in that scene is Yzma, and then Darth Maul is crop. That would be hilarious.

JJ: 00:23:36

That would be way funny.

Alec: 00:23:39

Do the voiceover from when they're smashing goozco statues.

JJ: 00:23:43

Or you just have, like. You have, like, sidious all of a sudden. Go pull the lever, Mauley.

Alec: 00:23:54

Oh, Christ.

JJ: 00:23:56

So dumb. How do we get there? Like, we just. That's gonna be the running theme for the month, is how this sound is Darth Maul's voice.

Mattson: 00:24:04

Yeah, we need. We need to make that happen now. Alec, whip that up.

JJ: 00:24:11

Yeah. Now I just keep thinking.

Mattson: 00:24:14

But you can, though. That's the crazy thing. Do it now.

JJ: 00:24:18

I keep thinking what Varney would have done as mal. Like.

Alec: 00:24:29

Rim shot.

JJ: 00:24:30

Get my lifesaver. Oh, God. Fuck it out. Oh, that would have been dope. You make friggin earnest sidious and rim shots. Yes, please. That would be great.

Little boss, little terrier with the freaking horns coming out of his head, and he's all red and black. Hilarious. Oh, what a great freaking deal that's gonna be. When we figure that one out, somebody's got to do it. The mini voices them all. That would be.

That video would go viral as fuck. So, Alec, it makes me happy that you enjoyed her. And it's scared stupid. It's, like, still one of my favorite things to watch.

It's absolutely terrible. All of the earnest movies are terrible when you look at them subjectively but objectively fantastic.

Yeah, I cannot get enough of just the silly Jim Varner. Jim Varney humor and the two brothers humor, because they're. And I think most of the those movies as well. But, like, just the silly.

And I'll say this, too, that my nostalgia creeps back in from the perspective of. They don't make kids movies like this anymore either. Like, as bad as it is for a kid, this shit's pretty wholesome.

Like, because they don't care about good acting or bad acting. Like, when I was ten years, I didn't give a shit if it was bad acting. It was, can I relate to this movie?

And yes, a troll with fucking snot all over his face would be scary as fuck to me. That could turn me into a piece of wood.

Like, creeping around a tunnel and hearing some of my friend's voice calling out, you know, there's so many things that I'm like, this would have been scary as shit. And it was to a certain degree, but it's. To a certain degree, for Alec, it's a little scary.

And then the goofiness of him, like, at the end, when he's dancing with the troll and, like, hugging it and whatnot. Or the fact that milk is. It's like nemesis. Like, its weakness, its kryptonite, if you will. Like, that shit's funny. They just don't go there anymore.

Like, if it's not animated, like, I can't think of a series of movies that fit this realm of, like, kids can watch it, enjoy it, have fun, go back to it, and that be memorable, right? Like, and maybe it's because I haven't been a kid for so goddamn long, but at least not.

It's not a real kidde, but that's the other thing that I think of is, like, this one I went back to as a kid over and over and over again, and I never got tired of it until I was probably in my mid teens that I was like, okay, I can't handle this movie because as a teenager, I was more of a dick than I am now. But, like, even now as a 43 year old man, I'm like, that shit's funny as fuck. Like, I had a great time watching it.

Alec: 00:27:24

Goes in circles.

JJ: 00:27:25

Yeah, exactly. I'm rapidly becoming a child again, which is fine. You miss that innocence of life, and you get older, so you kind of roll back to it.

But, yeah, like, it's just at the end of the day, it's wholesome, it's fun. When rim shots. The worst part of, like, the name rim shots. The dirtiest thing you can come up with for this movie.

Alec: 00:27:44

Like, yeah, it's only dirty because Matson's here.

JJ: 00:27:49

Fair enough. Fair enough. Back in the nineties, Rim. That wasn't a term I like. It is now.

Mattson: 00:27:58

Welcome to the Internet.

JJ: 00:27:59

Yep, gotta love it. All right, Alec, are we ready to rate this thing well, so Matson can then shit on it?

Alec: 00:28:05

Well, I think so, but you get to go first.

JJ: 00:28:08

I do. It's my third. Uh, look from. This is a tough one. It's what it was from a movie perspective. For me, this movie's a three. I love it. It's fun.

It's not a serious, like, it's not something I'm going to be like. This is one of the greatest movies ever made. But I. I will watch this anytime, anywhere.

I watch almost any air, earnest movie, anytime, anywhere, because it's fun, it's wholesome, it's silly, it's goofy. Jim Varney is a genius. And the voice, the Verne stuff, like the. Like that shit.

Like, I will remember it for my entire life, and I will want to share it with anybody I can because it's just funny, it's goofy. Makes for one of the better wholesome movies that you watch for a Halloween movie. Or, you know, just show kids.

And again, after watching, I'm like, God, I gotta. Who can I. What kids in my life can I show this to that I think might find it entertaining? So go check it out.

Much to the opposite of what Matson's telling you to do, even if you're an adult or if you're my age, go reminisce a little bit, because it's worth the rewatch if you watched it as a kid like I did. So there it is. Three for me. I'm definitely going to make this a Halloween tradition for me again, moving forward. So the podcast strikes again.

All right, Matson, poo poo it, and then we'll move on to another good score.

Mattson: 00:29:32

It's not a good movie. It needs to be something you've seen before. There's better and, like, child movies that are out there than this that will give you the feels.

But everyone's got their thing. Like, you've got focus. You've got how, like Halloween town. Everyone's got their. Their different ones. I just hadn't seen this.

I didn't resonate with me. Like, as far as for putting it on a true movie scale. This movie's like a one.

But if you have the nostalgia factor and you're considering, like, a kids movie, it's probably like two and a half or three.

JJ: 00:30:07

Can't believe you said Halloween town in this movie in the same sentence, but go ahead, Alec. Score.

Mattson: 00:30:12

I don't like Halloween town, but I know some. That's some people jam.

Alec: 00:30:16

It's fine, Matson. It's fine. Um, so, I mean, let's. Let's look at some things about this movie that both you skipped over in your own, uh, practically fix.

That's fair, bar none. Okay, you're. We're talking. We're talking some primo practical effects from the nineties. Okay? Uh, animal coordination, perfect.

Not a single time did Rimshot miss his mark. And we have actors in movies that we've seen recently who are so old and decrepit that they can't hit their marks.

At this time, Rimshot's probably six or seven years old, which makes him, like, 80, and he's still hitting his mark. Props to everyone in charge of Barkley the dog, and props to Barkley the dog for being a straight up fucking professional.

That being said, I don't think ernest t or earnest movies are gonna ever be as award winning break down the blockbuster set records or anything like that, but damn, are they fucking funny. Three and a half from me. And I will be watching the entirety of the earnest collection for the first time because they are fantastic success.

One movie, Halloween town.

Mattson: 00:31:39

Black.

Alec: 00:31:42

Yeah, three and a half for me. We'll watch again.

JJ: 00:31:44

I love that you're gonna go watch the rest. Like, you gotta tell me about it. Cuz I can't wait to.

Alec: 00:31:52

We're just gonna find a way to work them into the podcast.

JJ: 00:31:55

I'm okay with that, too.

Alec: 00:31:56

Earnest month. Earnest month.

JJ: 00:31:58

Yeah, I'd be down for that.

Mattson: 00:32:03

I'm going semi retirement for that.

Alec: 00:32:06

You're not allowed.

JJ: 00:32:07

I'll be in there. Like swimwear? No, like, yeah, Charles, we need. We. Charles can get it done. I like that. He'll figure that shit out. Earnest month.

Mattson: 00:32:16

Or I think. I think Alex played from Charles is something that he doesn't want to watch because he's done it to myself.

I think Alex probably overdue for something that he's going to be shaking in his. Although promise. That tortures me, too. So I don't know what Charles is going to do.

Alec: 00:32:34

Well, here's the problem. See, Matson, you. You just egg Charles on.

JJ: 00:32:39

Yeah, don't.

Alec: 00:32:40

Don't.

JJ: 00:32:41

I know it. Because now I gotta watch fucking some bullshit.

Alec: 00:32:45

See, you had the opportunity to be like, you know what? Super baby geniuses, too. All right, good pick, Charles. Way to be Charles option.

Mattson: 00:32:52

Charles and I are vibing right now.

Alec: 00:32:54

Zardos be like, hey, yo, great pick. Great movie. But no, Matson's always over here, like, Charles, why do you do this to me? Charles, why do you do this to me?

JJ: 00:33:02

Should have friggin. I should have edited out that little portion where he gave out, or he gave out his phone number to. Yeah, when Charles has been texting.

Because now they're all friends and shit.

Mattson: 00:33:13

Like, anyway, we're out here wheeling and dealing. We're scheming.

JJ: 00:33:19

Yeah. Jeez. All right. Well, there it is. We love the earnest, scared, stupid addition to our not so scary Halloween movies, though. Sounds like part of it.

Kind of still got to Alec, you know? Well, it's got to have a jump scare somewhere.

Alec: 00:33:37

Okay. Okay. Yeah.

Mattson: 00:33:41

Alec, if that got to you, dude. I mean, children of the corn is not the scariest thing out there, but you're. You're in for a ride there, my friend.

Alec: 00:33:49

Is there a creepy pipe with the troll who sounds like a ten year old girl?

Mattson: 00:33:54

No, but there's.

JJ: 00:33:55

Wow.

Alec: 00:33:56

Who can run like a 440, by the way. Holy shit. That guy was hauling and eat a.

JJ: 00:34:02

Hit from a truck.

Mattson: 00:34:03

Yeah, looks comical. We're talking about just children doing things that shouldn't be done in.

Alec: 00:34:12

Did you see the running form on this troll? He was doing your. Your hand to hit Matson.

Mattson: 00:34:17

Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise. Little known for playing that.

JJ: 00:34:21

They. That's. Yeah, it's where Tom Cruise got his running style from the troll in this movie. I like it. Eat bumper booger lips. That's all I'm saying.

And with that, Alec Teller. Whatever, they can find us.

Alec: 00:34:35

Happy to. Thank you once again for Turing into our not so scary scary movies. Month of October. This is week two.

We are going straight back, straight back to the nineties with Ernest scared stupidity. Thank you for tuning in for that one.

Such a great movie, despite the fact that it really, honestly shouldn't be what you think of our verdict, please let us know if you agree with Matson. Please don't let us know. Special thanks to our current patrons for their picks this month. That would be Richard Mel Brooks and the peak male body.

If you want to get involved with the podcast and get access to special releases, Patreon's place to do so. And with that, I will kick it back to the Titan of terror. The maharashtra of Mash a JJ.

JJ: 00:35:19

Yeah. Thanks, Al. You really should check out the Patreon, even if it's the swap, because you.

Alec: 00:35:24

Can get Matson's phone number and bug him. That's fair all the time.

JJ: 00:35:29

Or you can watch us review a movie like Zardoz where we actually, I think Alec or I think, wow, Charles thought he was messing with us, and then he was like, we scored it higher than he did. So, uh, yeah, check it out. We have some smoke it weird ass content over there. It's kind of fun.

But, uh, with that, as always, we appreciate you tuning in. We'll catch you on the next one. Wait.

Alec: 00:35:52

I still love Easter, baby.

JJ: 00:35:54

Cinematic.