The Monster Squad (1987)
Exploring nostalgia and childhood memories, the podcast dives into the classic film 'The Monster Squad,' a beloved 1987 movie that blends humor and horror through the lens of childhood adventure. The hosts reflect on their personal connections to the film, sharing anecdotes about their own experiences with tree houses, sleepovers, and the influence that this cult classic had on their formative years. They discuss the film's plot, which centers around a group of kids who must band together to combat classic monsters led by Count Dracula, highlighting how the film captures the essence of Halloween without relying on traditional tropes like trick-or-treating or costume parties.
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Transcript
Uh, my friend had a tree house, now that I remember it, but I was a little bit old, like, when they got it put in.
Speaker A:Didn't do a lot of hanging out there.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Alec was just in his closet contemplating touching the lump.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Watching it grow.
Speaker C:Sorry, it's right there.
Speaker C:I had to take it.
Speaker C:Welcome to the what's our verdict?
Speaker C:Podcast.
Speaker C:We fashion ourselves cinematic judge and jury.
Speaker C:My name is JJ Crowder.
Speaker C:I'm here with my co host, Mattsen Heiner.
Speaker B:Better red than dead, and Alec Burgess.
Speaker A:Let's get it.
Speaker C:We appreciate you tuning in.
Speaker C:Go and hit that.
Speaker C:Follow subscribe like bell notification buttons.
Speaker C:Tell a friend about us.
Speaker C:Tell a family member about us.
Speaker C:Tell a child monster hunter about us.
Speaker C:That's about all I got, but yeah, man.
Speaker C:It's a continuation of the month of October, our Halloween themed or scary not scary themed month.
Speaker C:And we're cooking right along with the next list or next movie in that category, though this is the last one in that particular category.
Speaker C:After this, we go into Alec's least favorite genre being actual scary scary movie for to end the month.
Speaker C:But before we get there, let's talk about the monster squad.
Speaker C: ,: Speaker C:It was written by Shane Black and Fred Decker.
Speaker C:Was directed by Fred Decker.
Speaker C:Stars Andre Gower, Robbie Kiger, Stephen Mott, Duncan Rieger, Tom Newmande, Brent Chalum, Ryan Lambert, Ashley Bank, John Greece, Leonardo Camino, Stan Shaw, Jason Hervey, and Adam Carl.
Speaker C:It is about a group of twelve year olds from a universal monsters fan club called Monster Squad and have to attempt to save their hometown from Count Dracula and his monsters when they show up for real.
Speaker C:That's a very convoluted, like, definition or synopsis, but whatever.
Speaker B:Than that, let's just.
Speaker C:Yeah, I was like, wow, look, it's just a bunch of kids who like monster stories and then they got to fight real ones at the end of the day.
Speaker C:Look, this is my movie.
Speaker C:This is some nostalgia shit for me.
Speaker C:I don't remember how old I was, but I remember my aunt and uncle.
Speaker C:My dad's brother and his wife had a farm in Ohio, and I was so.
Speaker C:And when I was still living there, so I was on under eleven years old.
Speaker C:So again, you guys were maybe twinkles at best.
Speaker C:And it was.
Speaker C:I don't remember the circumstance where we were like, we're having a sleepover.
Speaker C:Like my staying over there.
Speaker C:My mom and dad were doing something, so I was hanging out with the cousins and my aunt and uncle, so they were like, well, let's go rent a movie.
Speaker C:And it was Halloween time.
Speaker C:We were like, let's rent a scary movie.
Speaker C:But couldn't be too scary because I had my little cousins there too.
Speaker C:So it was like, can't do any.
Speaker C:But me and my cousin Josh, who were similar of age, we're like, let's find something.
Speaker C:So we were walking through and we saw Monster Squad.
Speaker C:And I was like, this is great.
Speaker C:And it had to have just hit, like, the video market because I was still very young.
Speaker C:And we rented it from.
Speaker C:It wasn't even a blockbuster.
Speaker C:Like, I don't think there was a blockbuster in our town.
Speaker C:It was like this little mom and pop rental joint.
Speaker C:Because that's how we used to have to watch videos back in the day.
Speaker C:We didn't have all this streaming or, like, Netflix delivery shit or even blockbuster.
Speaker B:You didn't get blockbuster?
Speaker B:I was gonna say.
Speaker C:So they had blockbuster at the time, but they weren't in our little butthole of a town of Newton Falls, Ohio.
Speaker C:Like, it was like.
Speaker C:Which has the coolest zip code on the planet, by the way.
Speaker C:Four four four.
Speaker C:But it.
Speaker C:That's about all it's got.
Speaker C:Like.
Speaker C: some covered bridge from like: Speaker C:Like, it's a really old cover bridge, but.
Speaker C:But it.
Speaker C:Which is really cool.
Speaker C:But we had just this little mom and Paul rental joint, like star video or some shit.
Speaker C:I don't remember what it was, but we went and picked this out just randomly and came home and watched it.
Speaker C:And it scared the bejesus out of my poor little cousins.
Speaker C: Cause the monsters for: Speaker C:Me and my cousin Josh just thought this was the funniest thing ever.
Speaker C:Like, all the just straight up inappropriate kid jokes.
Speaker C:We thought that shit was great.
Speaker C:So this.
Speaker C:It stuck with me.
Speaker C:And I'll be honest, I don't think I've watched this movie since then.
Speaker C:Maybe once when I was still a younger kid, like in my early teens or something.
Speaker B:A young lad, a young lad.
Speaker C:But I haven't.
Speaker C:I certainly haven't watched it as an adult or anything close to an adulthood, and.
Speaker C:But I remember, like, people talk about movies that I think of, and Monster Squad always comes up because that's just how much of a good time I had.
Speaker C: movie is a very inappropriate: Speaker C:And I'm not gonna lie, watching as an adult, I still thought this shit was hilarious.
Speaker C:So I'm apparently not any more mature than I was at whatever age I was when I first watched this somewhere in the eight to eleven.
Speaker B:Your humor has not progressed.
Speaker A:Didn't have to.
Speaker A:Was twelve and it still peak now.
Speaker C:Yeah, it's.
Speaker C:I laughed watching this movie again.
Speaker B:It's mid.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:So anyway, there's, there's the story behind.
Speaker C:So when we talked about scary, not scary movies, this is the first thing that popped into my head was Monster squad.
Speaker C:And I was so happy when it got.
Speaker C:I was like tickled.
Speaker C:I didn't think any chance it would get voted on, but sure.
Speaker C:Shit, here we are.
Speaker C:So thanks, patrons.
Speaker C:Appreciate you.
Speaker B:Alec, I'm assuming you've never seen this before.
Speaker A:Oh, not even a little bit.
Speaker B:Tell our listeners how much you liked it.
Speaker A:I liked it a lot.
Speaker A:It was like the perfect, well, let's say this.
Speaker A:So it starts off like the perfect Halloween movie.
Speaker A:Like if you could take the essence of Halloween and boil it down, boom.
Speaker A:Monster Squad.
Speaker A:Then it got fucking real, real quick and then it got fucking dark, like immediately afterwards.
Speaker A:But I still think like overall it was just, it was, it was good.
Speaker A:It was good, wholesome fun.
Speaker A:And then you do have the little, you know, jokes thrown in there, here and there where you're like, haha, that's funny.
Speaker A:You know JJ's favorite part?
Speaker C:Wolf man Scott, dude, so funny.
Speaker A:But it was just a good, enjoyable movie.
Speaker A:And then the real like parts that hit like when they go, when they're leaving scary german guy's house, right?
Speaker A:And you see that he's got a tattoo from the Holocaust.
Speaker C:Yeah, bro.
Speaker A:They went there like, damn.
Speaker A:And then, you know, like five minutes later, freaking Dracula's got Sean and like, chokehold.
Speaker A:The world is this movie.
Speaker A:So it went full eighties, hundred percent.
Speaker A:But I actually enjoyed watching it, which means that Matson probably hated it.
Speaker B:No, I didn't hate this movie.
Speaker B:I think this movie falls into the case of I wish I'd seen this movie when I was younger, for sure.
Speaker B:Because is this movie as an adult watching this for the first time, like, what I could say is, if I'd seen it earlier, I knew I would have liked this.
Speaker B:It would have been one of those like, oh, this is like a nostalgia movie.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:When going through this, I was like, man, this was the Halloween movie I needed when I was a kid because I didn't get in the hocus pocus or Halloween town really, or things like that.
Speaker B:I didn't have like, I don't even know what my go to Halloween films were back then.
Speaker B:I'm having a tough time remembering, like, this could have been one of those things.
Speaker B:I was like, oh, this is like something I'd watch with banks when he gets older or Ray Ray.
Speaker B:So it's not that I didn't like it.
Speaker B:I'm not here to say it's a phenomenal movie.
Speaker B:Did it make me chuckle a couple at times because it was so eighties?
Speaker B:Yeah, sure.
Speaker B:It was so just like, really?
Speaker B:Like, this is, this is happening.
Speaker B:This is the way it's going.
Speaker B:But if it decide the times, the practical effects were fine.
Speaker B:It was just a terribly bad, but enjoyably Halloween movie.
Speaker B:And I'm like, all right.
Speaker B:Like, I could get behind it, but it's not a good movie.
Speaker A:Terribly bad.
Speaker A:Don't agree with that one.
Speaker B:But, like, it was enjoyable, but it's just, like, it just weird, interesting, weird premise.
Speaker B:And, like, I love the, the Jarwin dude, though.
Speaker B:That dude, he's my Og.
Speaker B:Liked him.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:I will say this movie couldn't be made.
Speaker C:Like, a version of this movie can be made today.
Speaker C:But there's some inappropriate shit in this movie, too, that would, like, speaking of, we were talking earlier before we recorded, about people getting offended.
Speaker C:This, this would offend people based on some of the early jokes, but, like, there's also some real zingers in there that stick, you know what I mean?
Speaker C:Like, there's some.
Speaker C:And ironically enough, like, there's some wholesome shit in it, too.
Speaker C:Like, what Alec was talking about.
Speaker C:Like, I love the relationship of Frankenstein and the little girl.
Speaker C:Like, that shit.
Speaker C:I remember being a kid watching this because I will say that when I was a kid, I watched this a lot.
Speaker C:Like, we went after we rented it and watched it, we bought it.
Speaker C:Like, I made my parents buy me the vhs and I watched it quite a bit.
Speaker C:And so, like, I always got pretty sad.
Speaker C:I was like, oh, damn, why can't you know Frankenstein stay and hang out?
Speaker C:And then, like, that, there's, like, that iconic scene where the whole crew's walking down the road at, like, sunset, and they're holding hands with Frankenstein.
Speaker C:He's just chilling and he's all happy because he's not getting bossed around by that dickhead Dracula.
Speaker C:Like, I just, like, I loved that dynamic of Frankenstein's monster and the kids.
Speaker C:Like, that was cool to me.
Speaker C:And, like, enjoyed how, like, they were all, like, even, even.
Speaker C:What was his?
Speaker C:I can't remember.
Speaker C:I just always called Fat Kid Horace.
Speaker C:Horace.
Speaker A:My name is Horace.
Speaker C:Yeah, that's my dude, man.
Speaker C:Like, that's, that's my guy.
Speaker C:Was really sad when he got.
Speaker C:Gets trapped under the rubble of the house.
Speaker C:Yeah, I just, that was, that's one of my favorite parts, too.
Speaker C:Even today, I was like, oh, that does actually work.
Speaker C:Like, it wasn't just me being a weird little kid thinking, oh, this is all emotional and fun.
Speaker C:Like, I actually, as an adult, is like, oh, I don't think I really caught the full nuance of that relationship.
Speaker C:And how interesting.
Speaker C:Like, to me, that's one of the centers of it.
Speaker C:And for them to pull it off in an hour and 20 minutes for me to like, because that's the other thing I love about this movie.
Speaker C:It's short.
Speaker C:Like, this movie doesn't fuck around.
Speaker C:It gets in, it gets out and moves on real quick.
Speaker C:And I like, seriously, wolf man's got nards.
Speaker C:We used to, like, we used to say that shit in school all the time.
Speaker C:Kick him in the Nards.
Speaker C:Wolf man don't have Nards.
Speaker C:Kick him.
Speaker C:Kick him.
Speaker C:And he kicks him.
Speaker C:Wolf man's got nards.
Speaker C:I love it.
Speaker B:That part was great.
Speaker B:I think we talked about this in some of the podcasts, I think, or on our Patreon the wolf Mandev practical effect.
Speaker B:So I did struggle with that one.
Speaker B:It was like some of the other monsters.
Speaker B:Good.
Speaker B:Like, it was like, all right, but I don't know what happened with Wolfman.
Speaker B:They dropped the ball, the budget on that one, because it wasn't.
Speaker B:Wasn't working for me.
Speaker C:Yeah, it was the worst of the monsters by far, though.
Speaker C:Dracula is not hard.
Speaker B:No.
Speaker C:Paint that dude a little gray, and he's good to go.
Speaker C:I will say my favorite of the practical effects, besides the creature from the black lagoon, which is fucking dope at the beginning, when Dracula's the bat, the big, ugly bat, I was like, damn, that's creepy as shit, man.
Speaker C:But, yeah, Wolf man was a struggle.
Speaker B:But then they have it turned into the little bat.
Speaker B:I'm like, well, that didn't hold up well in today's cinema.
Speaker B:Looks horribly terrible.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:But we'll let that slide.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:What I did like about this movie, this movie has what every kid wants in their life, or at least every.
Speaker B:What every boy should want in their life.
Speaker B:Although I think priorities have changed with phones and video games and things.
Speaker B:You need a good treehouse in your life, man.
Speaker B:Like, every kid, like, talk about a boss treehouse.
Speaker B:And you had a window to spy on a girl, which definitely would not hold up today.
Speaker B:That would be a bad, bad idea.
Speaker B:But, man, that treehouse was dope.
Speaker B:And I had a version of a treehouse, but nothing as cool as that.
Speaker B:It was spacious in there, and I.
Speaker B:If I remember correctly, they had lights.
Speaker B:They had, like, power.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Good life in there, man.
Speaker B:Like, let me sign me up for that.
Speaker B:I'm curious if either of you had a tree house that you had your childhood memories in.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:Wasn't lucky enough to have a tree house.
Speaker C:Alec, you haven't really lived in a place with a lot of trees to have treehouse.
Speaker A:I mean.
Speaker C:At least not ones that could hold a tree house, right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:Imagine you and I are spoiled for that, because east coast south area, like, what's a tree?
Speaker C:We had a lot of nice trees.
Speaker C:You could build a tree house.
Speaker C:And I will say I didn't have so much, a bunch, as much of a tree house as it was, like, a tree platform.
Speaker C:So I was always really jealous of those guys that had those fully enclosed, like, no joke tree houses.
Speaker C:Like, this one.
Speaker C:I mean, this one obviously is, like, to the max, but, like, anybody that had a full on enclosed, you know, like, climb up the ladder into the hole.
Speaker C:We just had a fucking platform.
Speaker C:And then you climb up and hang out up in the tree.
Speaker B:But, yeah, we.
Speaker B:We had that.
Speaker B:And then we had, like, two walls to it.
Speaker B:That was about it.
Speaker C:Yeah, I had a friend who had one of those legit tree houses in Kentucky, but, like, I was always so, like, it was kind of rickety.
Speaker C:Like, it wasn't.
Speaker C:Like it was in great shape.
Speaker C:So, like, you'd climb up there and, like, some loose boards and shit would move.
Speaker C:And I'm like, fuck, I'm gonna fall right the fuck out of these.
Speaker C:Like, it's.
Speaker C:So.
Speaker C:It wasn't my favorite place to hang out, but, yeah, no, it's a dope ass tree, especially from the outside.
Speaker C:Like, how it's got, like, that, like, wicked design.
Speaker C:Like, almost tiered looking.
Speaker B:I was like, damn, JJ's looking for that when he gets on the elevator.
Speaker B:Like, how much does this elevator hold?
Speaker B:Same thing for the tree house.
Speaker B:When he was little.
Speaker B:Like, I don't know.
Speaker B:I can't hit the street.
Speaker C:Well, I was kind of traumatized as a kid, too, because I had a cousin that lived across the street who made me do dumb shit, and I say made.
Speaker C:He convinced me to do dumb shit.
Speaker C:And he was very much older than me, so, like, he had these big trees, so we climbed trees.
Speaker C:That's what we did as kids.
Speaker C:And he had me climbing this big ass tree, and then I don't even remember what we were doing, but, like, we were fucking around in this tree, and I slipped and fell, and we.
Speaker C:It was tall enough tree that you didn't have branches low enough to start.
Speaker C:Like, we had to get one of those old shitty milk crates.
Speaker C:Uh, hex hexagonal milk crate things that, like.
Speaker C:Yeah, that.
Speaker C:The same shit that Walmart's fucking plastic carts are made of, or targets plastic.
Speaker C:So we had to climb up on a set of those to get to a branch to get in this tree.
Speaker C:So it's tall.
Speaker C:And I still to this day, on the top of my head, have a fucking lump.
Speaker C:My head from climbing up there.
Speaker C:Robbie's fucking around.
Speaker C:And I fell and landed on the top of my head on this crate.
Speaker C:I'm lucky I didn't fucking die, but, like, I went through the crate because they were just plastic and my shoulders got caught before I hit the ground.
Speaker C:This is probably the only thing that saved me.
Speaker C:I probably fucking be paralyzed or dead at this point.
Speaker C:And I, like, said I still to so trees and heights from that moment on.
Speaker C:Like, I wasn't afraid of heights at all until that.
Speaker C:And now through today, like, I don't do heights very well, and so, yeah, though I definitely.
Speaker C:I'd get up in this treehouse.
Speaker C:And we moved to Kentucky from Ohio, so it was after that happened.
Speaker C:So I get in this dude's treehouse and be like, you need to fucking put some nails in this, sir, because my fat ass falls.
Speaker C:I'm gonna kick your ass.
Speaker B:Little Humpty Dumpty right there.
Speaker C:Yep.
Speaker C:No, it's bad.
Speaker C:Like, it's fucking goofy.
Speaker C:It's one of the reasons I get pissed that I'm losing so much hair, because, like, you can see that it goes.
Speaker C:My head goes.
Speaker C:Here we go.
Speaker C:It's just.
Speaker B:It's fucking you in person.
Speaker B:I'm gonna have to touch the lump.
Speaker C:Yeah, you have to touch the lump.
Speaker C:It's.
Speaker C:It's dumb, dude.
Speaker C:Like, I was like, sounds so bad.
Speaker C:That sounded really bad.
Speaker C:But I'm into it.
Speaker C:I'm into it.
Speaker C:It's gonna be my new saying.
Speaker B:Rip shot, rim shop.
Speaker C:Touch the lump.
Speaker C:Touch the lump.
Speaker B:Well, Alec, I think we know why you're.
Speaker B:The way you are is you didn't have a treehouse to make you more normal.
Speaker A:Uh, my friend had a tree house, now that I remember it, but I was a little bit old, like, when they got it put in.
Speaker A:Didn't do a lot hanging out there.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Alec was just in his closet contemplating touching the lump.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Watching it grow.
Speaker C:Sorry.
Speaker C:This right there.
Speaker C:I had to take it.
Speaker C:That was terrible.
Speaker B:Oh, man.
Speaker B:What else to say about this movie?
Speaker C:I got Alec with that one.
Speaker C:That's one of my better ones right there.
Speaker C:Think I broke him.
Speaker C:Oh, my God.
Speaker C:Yep.
Speaker C:Alex gonna die.
Speaker A:I'm gonna die.
Speaker C:Um, so interesting fact on this movie that I don't know why this stuck with me, but, like, I read it one time, goofy enough, long time ago, but apparently Liam Neeson had like, a part in this movie that never actually ended up getting shot.
Speaker C:So, like.
Speaker C:But yeah, he was cast in this movie.
Speaker C:I was like, fuck, that would have been cool.
Speaker C:I wonder what he would have been.
Speaker C:But yeah, so there's that.
Speaker C:The other part that I think about with this movie is one of the writers, Shane Black.
Speaker C:Dude's prolific.
Speaker C:Like, he's got a list of movies he's written.
Speaker C:Like, he wrote and directed Iron man three.
Speaker C:He did two.
Speaker C:Two of the lethal weapons.
Speaker C:Like, oh, no.
Speaker C:He was all three lethal weapons.
Speaker C:The original lethal weapon movies.
Speaker C:One of my other favorite terrible 90 movies, the Last Boy scout.
Speaker C:Ironically enough, on our Patreon, we've done another one of his movies, the long kiss Goodnight.
Speaker C:So that was one of his not so great showings.
Speaker C:But he did some recent movies also.
Speaker C:You'll like this, Matt, because I think you like this in last action hero.
Speaker C:Hero.
Speaker B:Oh, yeah.
Speaker C:And then he did the nice guys.
Speaker C:I don't know if you guys ever saw that one that's more recent with Ryan Gosling.
Speaker C:And I want to say Gladiator, but I can't think of his name right.
Speaker C:Russell Crowe, very funny movie.
Speaker C:So he's hit and miss, but he's, I mean, the guy's done some movies like that are no joking out there.
Speaker B:I'll have to start somewhere.
Speaker B:And anytime you're writing a movie in the eighties and nineties, it's.
Speaker B:You're kind of stuck and you can only go up.
Speaker C:It's true, it's true.
Speaker C:There's also a lot that I laugh about as an adult watching this movie.
Speaker C:One of the things that I noticed is the absolute, like, influence copycat of the Goonies that this movie carried.
Speaker C:Like, I was like, well, there's some serious Goonima action going on right now.
Speaker C:Like, feels like they.
Speaker C:And it was Goonies came out a couple years before this movie, so obviously there was some influence there.
Speaker C:But I did laugh a lot as when I watched this the other day going, this feels very goony ish, almost to the point of like, you unoriginal fuckers.
Speaker A:But yeah, something that, uh, tickled the lump for me was the absolute size of this police force in this little bodunk town.
Speaker A:I was cracking up.
Speaker A:They got like 200 cops.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:In this little town.
Speaker A:And there's like, 15 people.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:Especially at the end.
Speaker A:You're just throwing squad cars out here.
Speaker A:I'm counting, like, one, two, three.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:712, 14.
Speaker B:Very, very well funded and no other crime or anything to do going on.
Speaker B:I mean, that's kind of how I feel these days, though.
Speaker B:You like, any accident, there's, like, five police cars.
Speaker B:Like, what else?
Speaker B:What else are we doing here?
Speaker B:Like, when we got somewhere else to be, some else to do, that town, clearly not.
Speaker A:Oh, it was the best thing ever.
Speaker A:I was like, oh, this is awesome.
Speaker A:It's like the bad guy goons, but they're copse.
Speaker C:Yeah, you needed.
Speaker C:You at least needed.
Speaker C:Gotta have fodder for Dracula.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:Is he's breaking necks and freaking snapping body parts.
Speaker C:I was like, damn, there's a lot of murder.
Speaker C:I don't remember all this murder in this movie.
Speaker B:Yeah, that's the one thing that I stuck.
Speaker B:I was like, oh.
Speaker B:Like, they didn't children's movie, but they didn't really hold back from old, like, Dracula just mowing through people like he's on a cheat code in a video game.
Speaker B:Like nothing mattered.
Speaker C:Yeah, well, I'd, like, Rudy's, like, gunning people down.
Speaker C:Like, granted, they're monsters, but I'm like, dude, this guy just shot.
Speaker C:He just killed, like, three lady vampires.
Speaker C:He freaking mercs.
Speaker C:Wolf man.
Speaker C:He stakes.
Speaker C:Like, he's.
Speaker C:I'm just like, this guy's gonna be disturbed as an adult.
Speaker C:It's poor bass.
Speaker C:I mean, all these kids are gonna be all fucked up.
Speaker C:But that dude, I was like, get him.
Speaker C:But then I was all proud of Horace when he freaking blasted the creature from the Blake black lagoon.
Speaker C:Turns around, my name is Horace.
Speaker C:Yeah, a fat kid.
Speaker C:Good job.
Speaker C:And I want to be mad at that statement, but, you know, in that moment, I did a good job, and he was kind of chunky.
Speaker B:Give him a twinkie.
Speaker C:Fucking ruin that dude.
Speaker C:I was so pissed, I forgot.
Speaker C:I was like, oh, you mush.
Speaker C:That dude snickers.
Speaker C:Why would you do that?
Speaker C:That's the ultimate bully shit there.
Speaker B:Snickers is not a good candy bar.
Speaker C:Whoa.
Speaker C:It's not my favorite candy bar, but it's still delicious.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's not my own either, but it's not.
Speaker B:It's not a bad kit.
Speaker B:It's the candy bar that's in the mixed candy bar bags that I'm not excited about.
Speaker B:I'm like, give me my.
Speaker B:Give me my musketeers or Twix or Kit Kat or Reese's, buttercup.
Speaker B:Like, you name it.
Speaker B:Anything before Snickers now, see, a bad.
Speaker A:Candy bar is like an almond joy.
Speaker B:Hate that.
Speaker B:Give that to my dad.
Speaker A:Candy bar.
Speaker B:Horrible.
Speaker C:That whole commercial.
Speaker C:Like almond joy.
Speaker C:And what's the other one?
Speaker C:That they.
Speaker B:I don't like payday.
Speaker B:It's not my favorite either.
Speaker B:Too much nut peanuts.
Speaker C:What's the.
Speaker C:What is that?
Speaker C:Almond Joy's got mounds.
Speaker C:Mountains.
Speaker C:Just fucking go eat some coconut, asshole.
Speaker C:Like, I get out of here with that shit.
Speaker C:Almond Joy's got nuts.
Speaker C:Mounds.
Speaker C:Don't mounds.
Speaker C:Just fucking chocolate covered coconut.
Speaker C:Fuck out of here.
Speaker C:That's not.
Speaker B:You like mounds and you listen to us.
Speaker B:Or almond Joy.
Speaker B:Like, feel free to stop.
Speaker B:Like, let's.
Speaker B:Let's move on to a different candy bar.
Speaker A:Or feel free to argue why you think I.
Speaker A:You're right when you're wrong.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker A:Help out the algorithm a little bit.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:I mean, I'd love for you to jump in the comments and tell me why you think mounds are good.
Speaker C:Like almond Joy.
Speaker A:Fine.
Speaker C:If you like almonds and coconut, it's kind of.
Speaker A:And you like sadness for sure, but.
Speaker C:I mean, it's just so.
Speaker B:I didn't even try to trade that candy away for Halloween.
Speaker B:I just.
Speaker C:My mom ate them.
Speaker B:I'm not gonna get anything for this.
Speaker B:Let me just give it to my dad.
Speaker B:I'll take the l.
Speaker B:Like, you came to a house where they gave me, like, an almond joy.
Speaker B:You're just like, I'm never coming back.
Speaker B:Where.
Speaker B:What are we doing here?
Speaker C:That house on the children map got xed off.
Speaker C:We're not going.
Speaker B:You always highlighted, where was I?
Speaker B:Getting a full size king size candy bar.
Speaker B:I'll go to that house when it's not Halloween and make them feel good so that when I do come, maybe they'll give me two.
Speaker C:That's who I.
Speaker C:Those houses that gave me big old candy bars for Halloween, that's who I went and tried to mow their lawns for.
Speaker B:Like, I don't get good money if.
Speaker C:They give me good candy bars.
Speaker C:They're not afraid to spend some money on some shit.
Speaker C:So I'm going there.
Speaker C:I was trying to think of what else, like, that really got me on this movie.
Speaker C:And I think the one of the things that I didn't love about it is funny, as I said, because I love that it's so short, is the fact that it's really short.
Speaker C:Like, I think there's some background to this that would be good to see a little bit more of.
Speaker C:And ironically enough, Shane Black.
Speaker C:I've watched an interview about this movie with him where he talked about, they had that opening sequence with Van Helsing and, like, it was so big.
Speaker C:Like, they had, like, the blimps.
Speaker C:Like, the old german blimps and, like, armies and shit coming in to fight Dracula in that moment.
Speaker C:And they had to pair it back because that sequence alone was more budget than the whole fucking combined.
Speaker C:Like, there was a lot more to the movie, but I think I would have liked to have had a little more background or a little bit more, like, I think add another ten minutes of, you know, Frankenstein hanging out with the kids, you know what I mean?
Speaker C:Or the family dynamic.
Speaker C:Like, we get to see the fight, but there's got to be some more moments.
Speaker B:You could have added the whole band connection.
Speaker B:It just felt a little disjointed because you didn't really fully understand it.
Speaker B:And then, like, fast forward, then they're like, the vampire found the.
Speaker B:What was the thing he was looking for is, like, that.
Speaker B:The light thing.
Speaker A:Amulet.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:The amount of amulet that I was like, oh, conveniently knows it's underneath this house.
Speaker B:Like, just dug it.
Speaker B:I was so easy to get it through the walls.
Speaker B:Like, I mean, classic.
Speaker B:Just like, let's move this story along.
Speaker B:Let's find this thing.
Speaker B:I was like, okay.
Speaker B:Like, how the hell did you.
Speaker B:It was right there.
Speaker B:How do you even know that?
Speaker B:Like, how did this place get built?
Speaker B:And right through this convenient wall, there's another room that we didn't know.
Speaker B:Like, I don't know.
Speaker B:I was just.
Speaker B:That part was too easy.
Speaker B:I was like, all right, we could have, like, we could have wrote something a little bit more elaborate on how we went about that, because that's the part I was like, all right, this is, like, typical.
Speaker B:Just stupid eighties movie.
Speaker B:That's part of it.
Speaker B:It's too easy.
Speaker B:Like, come on.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:And then I think as he was digging it out, didn't they have to go get dynamite?
Speaker B:But didn't he, like, punch through the wall or something?
Speaker C:Yeah, so, I mean, there was.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:I was like, if you can do that, just.
Speaker B:Just punch through the wall.
Speaker B:You already did it.
Speaker B:It's right there.
Speaker C:Like, that's fair.
Speaker C:Like, that is one of my other beefs, is there's a lot of gratuitous, dynamite usage in this movie that, like, makes no fucking sense whatsoever.
Speaker B:They're gonna dynamic.
Speaker B:I was like, are you.
Speaker B:You're gonna blow up the room?
Speaker B:You're gonna blow up, like, the fountain?
Speaker B:Like, you're not even gonna get the amulet.
Speaker B:There's gonna be tons of rubble.
Speaker B:Like, how's that gonna work?
Speaker C:Well, and I love, like, the desperate difference between different pieces of the dynamite.
Speaker C:Like, one couple of rolls of dynamite blows up that entire intricate fucking tree house, and then in another moment, it just blows the doorway out of a house.
Speaker C:Like, I'm like, hold on.
Speaker C:This either blows everything up or it doesn't blow anything up.
Speaker C:Like, you can't have both.
Speaker C:Like, you don't have like, mini sticks of dynamiter.
Speaker C:Oh, this is one of those, uh, small explosions.
Speaker B:This, this is a big, that treehouse explosion.
Speaker B:They, they.
Speaker B:Hollywood.
Speaker B:I mean, it wasn't a good looking explosion.
Speaker B:I was like, you'd like, fireballed the shiz out of that.
Speaker B:Like.
Speaker C:Any digital effects in this movie were pretty shit.
Speaker C:Like, spiraling black hole thing.
Speaker C:Look.
Speaker B:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B:They pulled up whatever on their computer.
Speaker B:Like, m das.
Speaker B:They were like, make explosions.
Speaker B:And it was just like, all right, looks good.
Speaker B:We're done.
Speaker B:Make the, make the whole.
Speaker B:Fine, good.
Speaker B:We have no budget.
Speaker C:Like, yeah, we're out of budget.
Speaker C:Hurry the fuck up.
Speaker C:The other one that gets me every time in a great way, though, is at the very end, like, Van Helsing comes out of the portal from hell, grabs ahold of Dracula and gives him the thumbs up.
Speaker C:As he's fucking going, I'm like, what the fuck is happening?
Speaker C:Where did he come from?
Speaker C:And why is he doing that?
Speaker C:Like, the thumbs up?
Speaker C:I just.
Speaker C:It's great.
Speaker B:Well, another thing that doesn't make sense.
Speaker B:Cause if Dracula is this strong, it's like, bro, like, you probably need to keep two hands on him.
Speaker B:Like, maybe we don't have time for a thumbs up.
Speaker C:It's so good, though.
Speaker B:I forgot about that part.
Speaker B:So stupid.
Speaker C:I love it.
Speaker B:And that whole scene, not even just the portal, like, the whole scenery of that, where that's happening, it looks like the most, like, movie set.
Speaker B:Little town corner.
Speaker B:I'm like, this doesn't even look real.
Speaker B:Like, this looks like you set this up for the movie.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:But despite it all, I was still entertained as much as I was as a child.
Speaker C:Like, even though I could see every flaw and all this stupid shit, I'm like, this is still a lot of fun to watch.
Speaker B:All its glory.
Speaker C:Yeah, it was beautiful.
Speaker C:One last interesting fact for me, and then I'm ready to move on if you guys are.
Speaker C:But the guy that played Dracula, the little girl, he refused to wear his, the red eye contacts and fangs and stuff around her.
Speaker C:Like, until that very final scene.
Speaker C:Like, if one, he's like, I don't want to traumatize her.
Speaker C:But more importantly, he's like, I don't want to have her get used to how I look with it because I need her to be freaked out at the end.
Speaker C:And I will say that the one thing that made me cringe, like, really cringe, truly cringe, not like, oh, that was bad cringe, but like, oh, I didn't.
Speaker C:Like, that was when he picked her up and he's like, you little bitch.
Speaker C:I'm like, dude, she's seven.
Speaker C:That's.
Speaker C:That feels aggressive.
Speaker C:Like, call her a little shit.
Speaker C:Call her.
Speaker C:You know, I don't know, but bitch.
Speaker C:Like, that hurt.
Speaker C:Like, I was like, that's a little.
Speaker B:I forgot about that light, that one.
Speaker B:Why did we write that in?
Speaker B:Like, there's a lot of things we can say to a seven year old.
Speaker B:Like, yeah.
Speaker C:I was like, she's so little.
Speaker A:Like, I've met a lot of seven year olds.
Speaker A:If I could get away with that.
Speaker B:Kind of shit, look, I would.
Speaker A:As I'm saying it in this podcast.
Speaker B:Though, Alex, the one that would be saying that, because otherwise I'm like, man, like, really?
Speaker B:It didn't even feel.
Speaker B:It just felt out of character to be.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:Felt really gratuitous.
Speaker C:Like, I was like, it may.
Speaker C:When it makes me go, oh, like, you probably have reached a line because I don't have a lot of moments.
Speaker C:But that one, I was like, ew.
Speaker B:I mean, it's not even that.
Speaker A:Like, Phoebe's the one who wrecked his plan.
Speaker A:She befriended Frankenstein so he didn't kill.
Speaker A:She's the virgin who spoke German to open up the portal to hell.
Speaker A:It's like something hero here.
Speaker C:It's true.
Speaker B:It's just not something I feel like you would actually.
Speaker B:I don't care about curse work.
Speaker B:Like, if you're gonna do all it, it just needs to feel authentic.
Speaker B:It definitely was anything but that.
Speaker B:I was like, I don't really.
Speaker B:I mean, if they Dracula say bitch, like, is that a Dracula Dracula word?
Speaker C:I mean, yeah, to be fair, he was pissed.
Speaker C:And Dalek's point, she did ruin a lot of shit for it, but I was.
Speaker C:It just felt uncomfortable to me.
Speaker C:And I don't know why that was weird, but for me.
Speaker C:But that one got me.
Speaker C:But I will say that the conversation with the virgin thing, that the one girl, like, I feel bad.
Speaker C:Like, how stereotypically shitty that was to the blonde girl, but, like, fuck, that was funny as hell.
Speaker C:Are you really a virgin?
Speaker C:Well, Robbie, but he doesn't count.
Speaker C:Like, what?
Speaker C:Now that shit was a great line.
Speaker C:Like, yeah, Robbie, but he doesn't count.
Speaker C:Oh, God, that shit was great.
Speaker C:Anyway, you ready to rate it?
Speaker B:Let's do it.
Speaker C:I'm first, so I'm just gonna get the high score out of the way.
Speaker C:I love this movie I went into, and I'll be honest, I went into this movie as an adult, thinking this is going to be terrible, and maybe that's why my expectations were really low as an adult, thinking I probably was.
Speaker C:Really had some kin glasses on, but I giggled.
Speaker C:I laughed.
Speaker C:I freaking was really into it all.
Speaker C:Hunt hour and 20 minutes of it.
Speaker C:I was like, this is a lot of fun.
Speaker C:I'm glad I rewatch this.
Speaker C:I'm going to have to start rewatching this on Halloween time all the time, and so just enjoyed it.
Speaker C:It's terribly good.
Speaker C:It's just that there's so many flaws to it, but it's so entertaining and so wholesome and interesting and not wholesome at the same time.
Speaker C:And, like, I just think it's an all around, really fun movie, so I'm gonna give it a four.
Speaker C:I will definitely watch this movie again.
Speaker C:I was shocked at how much I thoroughly enjoyed it, and not just from a nostalgia point of view, though, that was there for me.
Speaker C:But I just.
Speaker C:I just thoroughly had a good time watching this movie.
Speaker C:Fun hour and 20 minutes of my life, and I can't wait to do it again.
Speaker C:All right, Matson.
Speaker B:Four.
Speaker C:Wow.
Speaker B:I think you'd go that high.
Speaker B:It's a two.
Speaker B:Two.
Speaker B:Do I think I'll watch it again?
Speaker B:Maybe?
Speaker B:Because, like, with banks is coming back, I could.
Speaker B:I could see myself watching this movie again because it's short.
Speaker B:When he's a little bit older, because it's short, it's, like, a better, like, kid ish Halloween movie.
Speaker B:Like, maybe it's not a good movie, but it has its moments.
Speaker B:But if you're looking for something, like, watch with your family, not the worst thing you could put on for the Halloween time.
Speaker B:But if you're just, like, a grown adult and you're not JJ or Alec, and we know how we feel about them, they're pretty weird people.
Speaker B:Like, probably don't watch it.
Speaker A:I love how you said we.
Speaker A:Like, there's multiple of you feel the same.
Speaker B:I am a man of the people.
Speaker B:I speak for the people.
Speaker A:Someone should tell the people.
Speaker B:My.
Speaker B:My people.
Speaker B:My people know who they are, and they haven't been spoken for, and I have.
Speaker B:I have spoken.
Speaker C:I love it.
Speaker C:This is the way you, sir, can go.
Speaker C:Touch the bump.
Speaker B:That was the lump, JJ.
Speaker C:The lump.
Speaker C:Sorry.
Speaker C:Touch the lump does sound much better.
Speaker C:His lump instead of.
Speaker C:But yeah.
Speaker C:All right, Alec, bring us home, buddy.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker A:I loved it.
Speaker A:Like, as a first time watch, I thought it was a very good Halloween movie where it really kind of kept.
Speaker A:Captures Halloween, and there's no trick or treating involved or like costume dress up, which is kind of a novelty for a Halloween movie.
Speaker A:But monster squad had it.
Speaker A:Pure essence of Halloween.
Speaker A:I will be watching it again because it is fantastic.
Speaker A:And, I mean, I think my favorite scene is JJ's favorite scene.
Speaker A:Both man's got nards.
Speaker A:So I'm about it.
Speaker A:Three and a half easy watch again.
Speaker C:I like it.
Speaker C:And what other movies got a freaking lightning rod and a cane?
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:Just to wake up Frankenstein.
Speaker C:Genius shit, man.
Speaker A:Pretty ingenious.
Speaker C:Yeah, I mean, you fucking fry right along with it, but, you know, semantics.
Speaker C:Yeah, it's got that electrical, electric proof fucking handle on it.
Speaker C:Yeah, that scene.
Speaker B:Why did.
Speaker B:Didn't Frankenstein put his hand out and Dracula never.
Speaker A:We've already rated Matson.
Speaker B:What the hell was that about?
Speaker B:I forgot about that.
Speaker C:It was just showing that Dracula was a dick.
Speaker C:And yeah, he's only using Frankenstein for his.
Speaker B:Only using for his own demise.
Speaker B:So stupid.
Speaker B:So stupid.
Speaker B:Well, Alec, the next movie we're gonna watch, you're not gonna enjoy that, so we.
Speaker A:Yeah, I'm perfectly fine with drop kicking kids in the face and calling the bitches.
Speaker A:You're the one who's gonna have a problem.
Speaker B:I mean, children of the corn, you that very.
Speaker A:I will roundhouse kick a five year old.
Speaker C:Yeah, it might be bad that we're showing Alec this particular movie because he already has an issue with kids.
Speaker C:So this one, some kid's gonna walk around the corner, he's like, fuck off me, kid.
Speaker B:The best part is, Alec works for an organization that tailors two kids.
Speaker C:Which.
Speaker A:Is why I'm an expert on all the little seven year old bitches in the world.
Speaker C:Oh, God.
Speaker C:And on that note, Alec, why don't you tell everybody where they can find us?
Speaker A:Happy to.
Speaker A:So, thank you for tuning into our review of Monster Squad.
Speaker A:This is week three, three of not so scary scary movies and the last of not so scary scary movies before we move on to absolutely terror.
Speaker A:This is, you know, the quintessential monster movie of the eighties.
Speaker A:So how did our verdict match with yours?
Speaker A:Let us know in the comments below.
Speaker A:Or give us a like as it helps us grow the channel.
Speaker A:Special thanks to our patrons, Richard Mel Brooks and the peak male body for selecting Monster Squad for this week to get more involved with the what's our verdict?
Speaker A:Podcast, Patreon is the place to do.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:Check us out there at what's our verdict reviews.
Speaker A:With that, I will kick it back to the great Bambino, the king of Crash.
Speaker A:A JJD.
Speaker C:That's right.
Speaker C:It's peak male form, though.
Speaker B:I feel like there's gonna be a name change coming about.
Speaker C:This lump might be it.
Speaker A:Moving forward, I'm hoping it's seven year old bitches.
Speaker C:That'd be a classic one, too.
Speaker C:He might be lined up.
Speaker C:This episode may be lined him up with content for a while.
Speaker C:Yeah, this is a fun, fun chat.
Speaker B:Dumb ones are always the fun ones, but don't let that get to your head.
Speaker B:Charles, you check yourself before you wreck yourself because we've been on a.
Speaker B:We've been holding hands for a while and I know it's going to come crashed and down like a bad breakup always does.
Speaker C:I'm worried right there.
Speaker C:I was going to go somewhere again.
Speaker A:Were you going to go back?
Speaker A:Because that's where I was going to go.
Speaker C:Too much lump touching over here going on.
Speaker B:Why don't you come touch?
Speaker B:Old Daddy slumped and.
Speaker C:Wow.
Speaker C:That's gonna be the.
Speaker C:That's the one right there.
Speaker A:That's.
Speaker A:Yep, that's it.
Speaker A:And I'm gonna have to say that for quite a while.
Speaker A:Thanks, Matson.
Speaker C:It's cool.
Speaker C:Real cool.
Speaker C:Well, we're fucked on YouTube, boys.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker B:Here we go.
Speaker C:And with that, as always, we appreciate you tuning in.
Speaker C:We'll catch you on the next one.
Speaker B:Bye.
Speaker B:That's the la vista, baby.
