Super Mario Bros (1993)
The salient point of this podcast episode revolves around our examination of the film *Super Mario Brothers*, a cinematic endeavor that has engendered considerable confusion and disappointment among fans of the original video game franchise. We delve into the dissonance between the beloved source material and the film's execution, positing that the film's fundamental flaws stem from its failure to honor the established lore and characterizations that fans hold dear. Throughout our discourse, we express our incredulity at the creative decisions made during production, particularly the choice to transform beloved characters into a narrative that diverges significantly from their intended portrayal. In recounting our own experiences with the film, we navigate the complex emotions associated with its release, reflecting on both the nostalgia and the disillusionment it incited. Ultimately, our analysis underscores the broader implications of adapting cherished intellectual properties without a genuine commitment to their core essence.
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Transcript
But from the perspective of could this be an entertaining film?
Speaker A:Oh, for sure.
Speaker A:If it's not Super Mario Brothers, just.
Speaker B:Call it the Tonys.
Speaker B:Name them both Tony.
Speaker B:Make their last name Tony.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Welcome to the what's Every podcast, where we fashion ourselves cinematic judge and jury.
Speaker A:My name is J.J. crowder.
Speaker A:I'm here with my co host, Alec Burgess.
Speaker B:Let's get it.
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Speaker A:Week four.
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Speaker A:So with that being said, let's get into week four of movies that we just don't know how the hell they got made.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker A:And yeah, we're ending with a doozy.
Speaker A:My only pick, Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A: ,: Speaker A:It was.
Speaker A:This is a list.
Speaker A:And this is.
Speaker A:This is telling.
Speaker A:It was written by Parker Bennett, Terry Runt and Ed Solomon, and it was directed by Annabelle Jankel and Rocky Morton.
Speaker A:So there was so many people involved in this movie.
Speaker A:It's amazing that we got anything at all.
Speaker A:It's eight stars.
Speaker A:Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Samantha Mathis, Fisher Stevens, Richard Edson.
Speaker A:The names on this list, Fiona Shaw, Mojo Nixon, and Melody Salvatore.
Speaker A:It's about two Brooklyn plumbers, Mario and Luigi must travel to another dimension to rescue a princess from the evil dictator King Koopa and stop him from taking over the world.
Speaker A:Sure, it's my movie.
Speaker A: ed this because I remember in: Speaker A:Like, I grew up on Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:This was like the game when I was like a kid, right?
Speaker A:So outside of I came off the tail end of the Atari and jumped into I had, I was one of the first, I was the first of my friends that had a Nintendo, the regular Nintendo Entertainment center system.
Speaker A:And like it was.
Speaker A:And this is the game, man.
Speaker A:Like my.
Speaker A:Even my parents used to sit and play Mario and hop around and get the infinite lives and all that.
Speaker A:So we were all excited.
Speaker A:And then at the time too, like Bob Hoskins was a name and John Leguizamo was up and coming.
Speaker A:And then you get like freaking Koopa.
Speaker A:Dennis Hopper, who's all like at the.
Speaker A:I mean, Dennis Hopper was Dennis Hopper.
Speaker A:So I, we were like a.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And Even as a 12 year old dude, I went and saw this and me and my buddy Lamar were like, what the did we just watch?
Speaker A:That was not Mario.
Speaker A:That.
Speaker A:What in the hell?
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:This is like always been at the top of my list of how did this movie get like, how.
Speaker A:It doesn't even remotely relate.
Speaker A:Other than the names.
Speaker A:It doesn't even remotely relate to Super Mario Brothers, like at all.
Speaker A:Like, it's terrible.
Speaker A:And it.
Speaker A:I'm like, every time I watch it, I'm like, oh my God, this gets worse and worse.
Speaker A:And there's a huge cult following out there, right?
Speaker A:Like, there's people like, no, this is the.
Speaker A:I'm like, no, you're wrong.
Speaker A:This is not something you should spend time watching.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:And it was, it was, it was torture to watch it again.
Speaker A:It.
Speaker A:It been again another probably a couple decades since I'd even watched this movie out of spite or to like force somebody else to watch it with me.
Speaker A:It was, it was terrible.
Speaker A:I think, in fact, I think it might be worse.
Speaker A:Now that I'm in my 40s, I'm like, this movie's bad.
Speaker A:But with that we had a Super Mario Brothers virgin here that I'm dying to hear your thoughts.
Speaker B:So here's my thing.
Speaker B:I. I liked it.
Speaker B:If it wasn't Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker B:Here's, here's the problem.
Speaker B:The movie itself, if you go through and you take out Mario Luigi and if you take out the names, let's say, yeah, they've got something there.
Speaker B:They, they very much have the 90s fix.
Speaker B:Practical effects, Jumanji S type style.
Speaker B:Add in the parallel world, you've got all your makings for greatness.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Biggest beef, the problem is you slap Super Mario Brothers on it and you have too much connection to the game and not enough of paying, you know, homage to the game.
Speaker B:And that is.
Speaker B:Here's the thing.
Speaker B:This, this what got me riled up when I was Watching it is because we see it all the time now.
Speaker B:They've been doing it for as long as I've been alive now apparently, that I didn't realize.
Speaker B:You take source material and you butcher it into nothing and build it up almost into your own fanfic.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:What's happening?
Speaker B:And it's, it's just the worst because you, you have a beloved source material.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:So you already have a fan base.
Speaker B:You know, it's there.
Speaker B:You literally just have to take that and transpose it.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And that's why the new Mario movie that came out just a couple years ago, that was anime and everything.
Speaker B:Top of the charts.
Speaker B:Just incredible success.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:They took the stuff, they picked it up and they put it in the film.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker B:And so then you have, then you have this, which is.
Speaker B:We're gonna turn into some kind of dystopian thing, like the connection back and forth between dinosaurs and Koopa and it's like, okay, so you have a cool thing there.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:With just the dinosaurs.
Speaker B:The asteroid hits and it boom.
Speaker B:Parallel universe.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:That's cool.
Speaker B:Just lean into that.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And tell your story.
Speaker B:That way they can still be plumbers jumpsuits at the end of the movie.
Speaker B:Don't do that.
Speaker B:Don't make it Mario and Luigi.
Speaker B:You could have all your plot points be the exact same.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And separate it from the game.
Speaker B:And you have, I think, a really good movie.
Speaker B:But the fact that someone said we're gonna take a. Mario's been a beloved game since it came out.
Speaker A:Oh yeah.
Speaker B:Now, you know, we're talking close to 50 years is.
Speaker B:It's coming up on as being, mm.
Speaker B:Like one of the top best selling games.
Speaker B:All the different spin outs with Mario Kart, with the Mario Galaxy, all these things that Mario party.
Speaker A:Oh yeah.
Speaker B:Mario is the bomb.
Speaker B:And it has always been the bomb since it was released.
Speaker B:And someone sat in a room and said, you know what we should do?
Speaker B:And people okayed it or nobody said, absolutely not.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And it's just, it is so bad.
Speaker B:But I was sitting there mad because then I was ticking off on my fingers all the other things that like have come out recently or since this, where it's okay, we're gonna take something that was successful and we're gonna put it into what we think will be a cool story and we're gonna ignore the thing that made it successful to begin with.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker B:And then you, you get mad at the outrage.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Because this, like you said now, now 30 years later, there's a cult following.
Speaker B:But you know this is just almost illusion at this point to have this cult following of people.
Speaker B:And it's never going to be as many as if you just made the move.
Speaker B:Good to begin with.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And tie it into the games.
Speaker B:Have the games kind of going through.
Speaker B:But the whole.
Speaker B:Oh, this is slime.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:But it's really the king and back and forth between evolution and the evolution.
Speaker B:Like the Goombas are being just giant body little teeny tiny heads and sitting there going, oh, they ruined it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But if you take the Mario aspect out and you just have this via the movie, it I.
Speaker B:It's a really good 90s movie.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's up there like.
Speaker B:And I could even throw in because of the cool practical effects it threw in there.
Speaker B:You got like Little Shop horrors going on as well, where you have what's going to be a really enjoyable movie to watch.
Speaker B:And you hit the nostalgia factor.
Speaker B:But the fact that you put Super Mario Brothers as a title and made this about Mario and Luigi plumbers from Brooklyn, you ruined it.
Speaker B:And now it becomes a.
Speaker B:How on earth did someone okay this and think this was a good idea?
Speaker A:Dude, that's the question of the decade right there.
Speaker A:Or the last three.
Speaker A:How the did someone think this was gonna.
Speaker A:Well, and there's a lot of stories too about how nightmarish working on this film was.
Speaker A:Like both Leguizamo and Hoskins have come out and said that they used to drink themselves stupid just to get through the process.
Speaker B:I believe it.
Speaker A:And then there was an old interview with.
Speaker A:I gotta see if I can find it.
Speaker A:Hold on.
Speaker A:There's an old interview with Dennis Hopper where he's talking about at the time where they did an interview with him years later.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And he says my.
Speaker A:He says my son at the time was six.
Speaker A:He said, dad, I think you're probably a pretty good actor, but why did you play that terrible King Koopa guy in Super Mario Brothers?
Speaker A:He said, well, Henry, I did that so you could have shoes.
Speaker A:And he looked at me and said, dad, I don't need shoes that badly.
Speaker A:This six year old just roasted Dennis Hopper, which I love because it's.
Speaker A:It's bad.
Speaker A:Like.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:Here's the thing though is that was a very enlightening speech you just gave because I never really considered the idea of something that's not attached to Mario Brothers with this storyline and plot points.
Speaker A:And you know how it all hits.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:That's not.
Speaker A:I would love to see someone take this storyline and make it today without it being Marty, because that's the worst part.
Speaker A:And you make a good point that, like, it's bad.
Speaker A:It's.
Speaker A:It's as bad as it is because of the connection to a beloved IP and characters that we all love to love.
Speaker A:Like, you can't even, even Super Mario Brothers 2, which, if you've ever played that game, is the weirdest goddamn game ever and doesn't tie at all into the Super Mario Brothers universe.
Speaker A:Like, if you look at all those things that have come out Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Bros. 3.
Speaker A:Even though it's kind of a weird thing too, because it's all if.
Speaker A:Sorry to spoil anybody, but it's all a play, right?
Speaker A:Yeah, that whole game.
Speaker A:And then.
Speaker A:But then you get into the Super Mario world tomorrow, you know, galaxy that they're making a movie about because of the success of the animated version of Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:And it's because it was good because like you said, it leaned into what made Super Mario Brothers Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:So it's like.
Speaker A:But if you were to take that out of it, I still think this would have been a wonky ass movie.
Speaker A:But it would have felt like very Fifth Element is like, I love Fifth Element.
Speaker A:It's not necessarily like a great movie from like hitting all the, you know, checking all the boxes and saying, this is a great movie, but it's entertaining and it's fun and it's weird because it's its own thing.
Speaker A:And so I think in this situation, you're not wrong.
Speaker A:So I'm, I've looked at this now from a very different perspective from that, going, okay, yeah, I could see that like, as I was watching it, which, by the way, you can't watch this on streaming.
Speaker A:So if you're looking to go stream this, it doesn't exist.
Speaker A:There's a, there's a. I guess there's some real issues with like, distributors and like, they were just like, no, we're not gonna put this movie out.
Speaker B:Disney's trying to bury it deep.
Speaker A:Pretty much.
Speaker A:Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker A:But I guess with this possible purchase of Warner Brothers by or for whoever's like, Netflix may be able to put this on Netflix.
Speaker B:Because it won't.
Speaker A:Yeah, because I guess Universal owns the rights to it and they've said, nuh.
Speaker A:And especially now that they've released the new animated versions, they're like, why would we this up with this piece of.
Speaker A:So but there may come a point where Netflix may go, oh, we own this now, so here you go.
Speaker A:Or who knows?
Speaker A:But yeah, it's, it's bad, it's it's very bad.
Speaker A:And I wanted so much.
Speaker A:Every time I watch it, I'm like, I want it to be good because I love the cast.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:But then there was some weird choices, too.
Speaker A:Even beyond.
Speaker A:And let's just.
Speaker A:Okay, when I say there were weird choices, I mean outside and separate from the overall weird choice that this movie somehow became a Super Mario Brothers movie.
Speaker A:But, like, why Daisy versus You know what I mean?
Speaker B:Like, I think it's because you get the relationship between.
Speaker B:Between John Leguizamo instead of being with Mario and Bob.
Speaker B:I think that's one.
Speaker B:I think the second one is Daisy versus Peach as a name.
Speaker B:Daisy's more of a name.
Speaker B:Peach is more like a stripper tag.
Speaker A:That's fair.
Speaker B:So you have.
Speaker B:So you have.
Speaker B:Because you can slip it in.
Speaker B:And it's almost like this movie really wanted to be its own thing.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Just throw a little hint of, oh, no.
Speaker B:This is actually a Mario Brothers movie.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So it kind of like flies into the radar.
Speaker B:But that.
Speaker B:That.
Speaker B:Those are my only two things I could think of because I had the same thought.
Speaker B:Because Daisy shows up in the games much later.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Way later.
Speaker B:Way, way, way later.
Speaker B:And so.
Speaker B:Yeah, it just doesn't make all that much sense.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I mean, Peach was always the thing, you know, and.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:I mean, your princess is in another castle.
Speaker A:What a frustrating.
Speaker A:And then eventually Toad becomes like a beloved character, too.
Speaker A:And all the way through the first game, all you want to do is kick him in his goddamn monster cap head.
Speaker A:Tell me she's in a different castle again.
Speaker A:How the are you getting here, dick hole?
Speaker A:Like, tell me which one to go to instead of.
Speaker B:Yeah, we can even take that.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And so you take the character Toad from the most recent.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Anime.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:It was Keegan Michael Key.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:So great.
Speaker B:Great choice.
Speaker B:You have.
Speaker B:You have the little throwback to the line, right.
Speaker B:With the.
Speaker B:It's not Toad himself, but it's the mushroom guards that give you that little thing.
Speaker B:Then you take Toad from here.
Speaker A:Oh, my God.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Which is like cyberpunk dystopian rebel.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And then gets turned into a Goomba.
Speaker B:But he's allowed to keep his harmonica.
Speaker B:So that's how you can differentiate that he's.
Speaker B:He's a different Goomba than everybody else.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And it's just like, oh.
Speaker B:Oh.
Speaker B:It's horrible because it's.
Speaker B:Again, you're throwing in too much for it to be its own thing, but you're not paying enough, you know, homage to what actually is popular and what is Important to people and what kind of means it.
Speaker B:So it's a balancing there.
Speaker B:You could still have this dystopian type thing.
Speaker B:I think you still make it work.
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker B:If you take enough time to just not slap a character's name on it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And call it good to go.
Speaker B:And that's.
Speaker B:That's essentially what they did.
Speaker A:Oh, for sure.
Speaker A:Well, and I think that's the word.
Speaker A:Like the most egregious thing is like half the references in this movie don't connect to anything that we know about Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:Like what.
Speaker A:And it just doesn't make sense.
Speaker A:So like you immediately lose that connection with your source material which then loses by the proxy the.
Speaker A:The connection that you have with your audience that is there to see a certain thing.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:And even if you had to adapt that certain thing to be a little different, to make it more grounded or more weird or I mean whatever you want to do, you still have to be somewhat true to the source material.
Speaker A:Even if it's just like a little bit of a gag.
Speaker A:And this one, it fell.
Speaker A:It feels like.
Speaker A:And I mean to its credit, like there's part like the.
Speaker A:And I say to its credit, not the movie's credit, but to like the reporting around this movie's credit.
Speaker A:There were so many issues with this direction team, like the two directors.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:Everybody hated him from what I heard like in what I've read in interviews.
Speaker A:And apparently they got kicked off the set by their own agent at one point like because they were just causing so many problems.
Speaker A:And it.
Speaker A:I think it was again, what's his.
Speaker A:The freaking.
Speaker A:Anyway, there was another like reference to the.
Speaker A:These.
Speaker A:They were saying their arrogance was mistaken for skill and like quality.
Speaker A:And so they did a couple of TV show things and they were like, well, well these guys are everybody, they're doing great, so we'll do it.
Speaker A:And then it turns out that they're just piles of.
Speaker A:And they wanted to make some adults style film movie versus what the studio wanted was a kids movie.
Speaker A:But they'd already spent all this money on it because you know, it wasn't cheap to buy the rights to the name of this deal.
Speaker A:So they were like, we got to put something out.
Speaker A:And then it was, this is what we got some.
Speaker A:And I think I love the way this steampunk or like, you know what I mean?
Speaker A:Like that cyber punk.
Speaker A:Because that's what this feel like.
Speaker A:It's weird.
Speaker A:It almost feels like Dark man meets goddamn Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:And you're like, well, who thought that was a good Idea.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Like, you know, this is a small thing on the grand scheme of things, but it, it doesn't make any sense that you have 65 million years right in this alternate dimension, whatever, and you've got a Manhattan Square as your entire world type of a thing.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:All this advanced like technology, weaponry, whatever it is.
Speaker B:So you're gonna go back into the world of the mammals and just wreck everybody's.
Speaker B:And so they're going like.
Speaker A:So stupid.
Speaker B:So that's so far down at the bottom.
Speaker B:But it's just one of those things where it's, it's like they, again, they just kind of having two competing directing teams kind of makes sense a little bit.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because it flip floss back and forth of what you're looking for and it just, it doesn't land or hit.
Speaker B:Because for me anyway, because of Super Mario being attached to it.
Speaker B:You take that out and I'm gonna love this movie because I'm cracking up at John Leguizamo's jokes.
Speaker A:Oh my God.
Speaker B:Almost almost every single time he says something.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's hilarious the fact that he's like, you know, the conspiracy theory kind of sitting on the couch watching all these things.
Speaker B:And then, I mean, I, I cackled when he's like first, when he's with Daisy and the plumbing gets sabotaged.
Speaker B:Oh, she's like, oh, thank goodness you're here.
Speaker B:You know how to fix it.
Speaker B:He's like, right, I know what to do.
Speaker B:And then the next scene is him busted into the apartment.
Speaker B:He's like, mario, we need some help.
Speaker A:I need you.
Speaker B:Yeah, I think I was gackling because it's, it's so well delivered and played by them that it's like, that's, that's funny.
Speaker B:I enjoyed that.
Speaker B:And so, I mean, you could leave them as being plumbers, just remove Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker B:And I think this lands a whole lot better.
Speaker A:I agree.
Speaker B:I, and I would enjoy it because it's so funny.
Speaker B:It's off the wall.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's hilarious to think that, you know, a plumber and a plumber's apprentice, like, stop this multi dimensional invasion type of a thing.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:It is just, it just so off the wall.
Speaker B:Crazy.
Speaker B:But with Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo, you're gonna have really quotable lines.
Speaker B:You're have great acting.
Speaker B:You're gonna have like, they're gonna be able to carry a scene.
Speaker B:And I mean, you can almost see in Bob Haskins face he does not want to be oh here at all.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:It's not just angry plumber angst on his face go through the entire movie.
Speaker B:He's not enjoying the process at all.
Speaker A:No, no, they, they were very clear on like how bad.
Speaker A:They especially like with Zamo.
Speaker A:He talked a lot about how bad.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So it was during Bob Hoskins.
Speaker A:Here's what he says.
Speaker A:This is Bob Hawkins.
Speaker A:It was a nightmare.
Speaker A:The whole experience is a nightmare.
Speaker A:It had a husband and wife team directing whose arrogance had been mistaken for talent.
Speaker A:There's that quote.
Speaker A:After so many weeks, their own agent told them to get off the set.
Speaker A:Nightmare.
Speaker A:Idiots.
Speaker A:So you can tell he was thrilled.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I mean I think it's probably because John Leguizamo's up and coming that he's still trying to like, sure.
Speaker B:Make a name for himself and do everything right.
Speaker B:But so, but it makes it funny because you can again have their relationship of being, you know, the older brother versus the younger brother.
Speaker B:Older brother's got the jaded outlook on life.
Speaker B:Younger brothers all bright eyed and bushy tailed.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But it's, it's just, it honestly, it comes down for me for the fact that it's Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And it shouldn't be.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's.
Speaker A:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker A:Well.
Speaker A:And Bob Hoskins is so funny.
Speaker A:Is the grump.
Speaker A:Like his whole career he made it up just being this like rough edged dude, you know what I mean?
Speaker A:And so it's.
Speaker A:You're right, it worked and he's funny, but it just doesn't.
Speaker B:You can't connect it.
Speaker A:It's a good, it's a good perspective because I've always just on this movie 100.
Speaker A:Because it's, it's not Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:It's not even terrible.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:It's not even in the state.
Speaker A:Like how dare you even call it that?
Speaker A:But from the perspective of could this be an entertaining film?
Speaker A:Oh for sure.
Speaker A:If it's not Super Mario Brothers, just.
Speaker B:Call it the Tonys.
Speaker B:Name them both Tony.
Speaker B:Make their last name Tony.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because that was the other funny bit that I cackled at was when they get arrested.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:What's the name?
Speaker B:Mario.
Speaker B:First name last?
Speaker B:Mario Mario.
Speaker B:Are you Mario Mario too?
Speaker B:No, no, I'm Luigi Mario.
Speaker B:Like that whole by play.
Speaker B:It's funny.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But it is literally the reason I couldn't stand it.
Speaker B:And like how did this get made is because you're attached to the Mario ip.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And you shouldn't be.
Speaker B:You should be your own freestanding thing.
Speaker B:And I think this movie does really well if it's its own freestanding thing because it's got that interesting story bit.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:You have the cast.
Speaker B:The only place you went wrong is trying to piggyback off something else's success and not giving it like to do credit for, you know, being able to piggyback off it and trying to fit your own idea into already pre existing ip, which never doesn't work.
Speaker B:Well.
Speaker A:No.
Speaker A:And there's no connection to this other than the names of the characters.
Speaker A:Like that's it.
Speaker A:Like.
Speaker A:And I mean, it would have even been funny if they'd made it as a direct parody.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker A:Like you're not calling it Super Mario Brothers, but like, you can't help but go.
Speaker A:In fact, I think it would have helped.
Speaker A:It would have helped it because they would have been like, wait a minute, this is just Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:But not.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:If you lean into that fact like we're making a shitty Super Mario Brothers movie.
Speaker A:But they wouldn't let us use the name Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker B:Yeah, make them electricians or something.
Speaker A:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker A:Like, you just like instead of Toad, his name's Frog.
Speaker A:You know what I mean?
Speaker A:Or like Koopa.
Speaker A:It's like Poopa or Dupa.
Speaker A:You know, anything.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:That you could have been, you could add some real, like, could have been clever with it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:This is just.
Speaker B:And it, it's hasn't changed really, in my opinion.
Speaker B:Now to hear where you get people with an IP and.
Speaker B:Right, right to an IP and they just like, hey, this is a story I want to tell, but I have these rights.
Speaker B:So we're gonna fit this square peg in a round hole and call it good.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:People still making the same mistake.
Speaker A:The problem is we're dumber now than in 93.
Speaker A:So people, people also go, oh, I liked it.
Speaker B:Great change.
Speaker B:And it's like, no, no, no, your story is great.
Speaker B:Tell it on your own.
Speaker B:If you're gonna use a pre established IP to get the, you know, the, the flair, the publicity, whatever it may be, like, you gotta, you gotta pay enough back into the IP to make it worth the while.
Speaker B:Because that's the problem is you have something that's established, you already got the recipe.
Speaker B:Just take that copy paste and you can say back and forth, oh, it doesn't work for different mediums.
Speaker B:It does.
Speaker B:We just saw a Mario movie a couple years ago that worked perfectly.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And there's been successful jumps from different console graphics, storylines, everything.
Speaker B:The IP is successful.
Speaker B:It's successful for a reason.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:All you have to do is take it and copy and paste it.
Speaker B:And the problems come when you're trying to change it or trying to improve and you're trying to be that artistic.
Speaker B:Creative.
Speaker B:You know, you're trying to mask your arrogance with talent or whatever it may be.
Speaker B:And you're going to try and improve upon something that doesn't need improve.
Speaker B:It's like, if it's not broke, don't fix it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:There's a reason it was popular.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:Lean into those reasons.
Speaker A:Don't shy away from them or think you know better than what the public's opinion is, you know, because you will.
Speaker B:Get raped every single time.
Speaker B:And then we miss out on like future adaptions or installments or things like that.
Speaker B:Like example.
Speaker A:A long ass time.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Like, well, we could use this.
Speaker B:But also like something like Ender's Game.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Great.
Speaker B:Great book series.
Speaker B:Everybody loves it.
Speaker B:People won't touch it right now because of how bad the movie was received.
Speaker A:Oh, yeah.
Speaker B:And it's just left hanging.
Speaker B:And so you have like, there's a ton of examples.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:You go back through a bunch of different books over the last little bit.
Speaker B:Percy Jackson was one that's barely getting retouched again after, you know, a decade and a half.
Speaker B:And so you have.
Speaker B:It's just a recurring cycle.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:Where you have established ips, already have a fan base.
Speaker B:You're gold.
Speaker B:You already made it.
Speaker B:Just tell the story.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And it's like, no, I'm gonna change.
Speaker B:I'm gonna adjust and move this in here.
Speaker B:And then it's like, oh, well, that didn't work.
Speaker B:It's like because you, you did too much.
Speaker B:Trying to put your own stamp on it rather than just telling the story of Super Mario Brothers how it is in the games.
Speaker B:There you go.
Speaker B:Problem solved.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Make a billion dollars.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker B:That's what the equation is.
Speaker A:You know, it's interesting you said because another franchise that recently I could think of that suffered inversely because of this is Game of Thrones.
Speaker A:The first handful of seasons were amazing because they lifted and dropped the books into a.
Speaker A:Into a TV show.
Speaker A:I mean, there were certain aspects because It's.
Speaker A:Listen, George R.R.
Speaker A:martin is very over bloated in his writing in a lot of times.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So there's a lot of things that don't translate.
Speaker A:But what they translated what made sense and it made for a good at least three or four seasons.
Speaker A:Then when they ran past the material, we got to rely on some other dumbass that's not quite as smart as George R. Martin when it comes to these Characters and story.
Speaker A:And we ended up with dog at the end.
Speaker A:So it's like this is a perfect example of do what they did the first few seasons when they had source material and then don't tweak it.
Speaker A:Just make it fit and then leave it alone.
Speaker A:Let it do its own thing.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:You copy, paste it.
Speaker B:You can make changes.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But you have to pay enough back.
Speaker B:And so the first four seasons, five seasons, whatever it was, they're paying enough back.
Speaker B:They having all the right betrayals, the drops, you know, they're, they're portioning it out correctly and how they're telling their story in their seasons, they're breaking it up.
Speaker B:Because you know, you have like the, the big one is Ned Stark.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:I see in a season one, the book that's like chapter 10 of the first book.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:And so but they, they know where to break it.
Speaker B:They know where to cut out.
Speaker B:They know how to tell the story enough that you can get all the plot points that matter and still pay back to the book while having compelling tv.
Speaker B:But as soon as they run out of that source material, now you have some, you know, button presser that's like, okay, well let's see, what's the next big gotcha moment or what's, what are we going to do next?
Speaker B:We need to have the same kind of drop.
Speaker B:We need to increase the ratings.
Speaker B:We need all these things and you lose the story aspect of it.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker B:And so that for me, like watching this, I'm like, there you were compelling on your own.
Speaker B:I would sit and watch this movie probably several times a year if it's not attached to Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:Sure.
Speaker B:And it's because you didn't pay enough back to it.
Speaker B:You have little tidbits, right?
Speaker B:Little Bob Bob OMB thing.
Speaker B:A little bomb with a wind up that makes an appearance in the slime.
Speaker B:It's kind of like, oh, hey, I've seen that before.
Speaker B:That looks like Mario right there.
Speaker B:It's close enough that I get it, but it's in a primordial slime, Right.
Speaker B:It turns out to be the true queen.
Speaker B:It's like, dude, bro, I stop, right?
Speaker B:You could have this cool, compelling story because it's there.
Speaker B:But you're trying to, you know, square peg, round hole and think that you're smarter than the people who created Super Mario Brothers and made it.
Speaker B:You're not going to be smarter than Nintendo at Nintendo's own stuff.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:They are incredibly good at storytelling, making games, making entertainment.
Speaker B:You're never going to beat them.
Speaker B:So Just take what they're doing and change the medium.
Speaker A:Yep.
Speaker B:Because they've got it locked in.
Speaker B:You're not gonna outdo them.
Speaker A:And why would you try?
Speaker B:Exactly.
Speaker B:It's already brave.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Work on your part.
Speaker A:It's the easiest job you've ever had.
Speaker A:Just do what they did and you're fine.
Speaker A:Yeah, it's wild.
Speaker A:All right.
Speaker A:Should we rate its turd?
Speaker B:Let's do it.
Speaker A:Oh, thank God it's week four.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Super Mario Bros. My movie.
Speaker A:I'm gonna rate it.
Speaker A:Look, I can't.
Speaker A:Even though we've had a very interesting discussion here, and change some viewpoints on how I look at this movie a little bit.
Speaker A:It's still one of the worst movies of my childhood.
Speaker A:So it's a 0.5 for me.
Speaker A:And I think that's bolstered.
Speaker A:I don't know.
Speaker A:I don't know if I would have still given this a zero because I still think I'd watch this over she Dies Tomorrow.
Speaker A:And I certainly would watch it over the other two.
Speaker A:Moonfall and not even gonna say it.
Speaker A:That movie, man.
Speaker A:God damn.
Speaker A:But yeah, like who.
Speaker A:Who sometimes kind of reminds me David.
Speaker A:He could do a.
Speaker A:A Bob Hoskins style anyway, if you get that voice down.
Speaker A:But yeah, look, it's 0.5.
Speaker A:This movie sucked.
Speaker A:But cut.
Speaker A:But I. I have been.
Speaker A:I have to watch.
Speaker A:I'm gonna.
Speaker A:I'm gonna have to watch bits and pieces of it maybe and be like, okay, if I look at this.
Speaker A:Not from the lens of them trying to.
Speaker A:But it ruined my.
Speaker A:I was like, you.
Speaker A:This is one of my favorite games of all time.
Speaker A:And you all over it because this movie sucked.
Speaker A:Even as a kid, 12 year old kid, I was like, nope, you up.
Speaker A:This movie was terrible.
Speaker A:So, yeah, 0.5.
Speaker A:I. I say I'll probably try.
Speaker A:I probably won't ever try to watch any bit of this movie again because it's bad.
Speaker A:And we've had a good faithful adaptation to a certain degree already.
Speaker A:That worked.
Speaker A:And I was even skeptical of Chris Pratt as Mario, but it worked.
Speaker A:And so why.
Speaker A:Why mess with a good thing and go back to this show other than for the pure entertainment value for our audience and listening to me and whining complain and Alec make good points about how this could have been a fun movie versus a shitty Super Mario Brothers movie?
Speaker A:So There it is, 0.5 for me.
Speaker A:Off.
Speaker B:All right, so here's the thing.
Speaker B:It's bad if I start, like, actually analyzing your movie because I like to be entertained, right?
Speaker B:I watch movies to be entertained.
Speaker B:For 98 of these.
Speaker B:So if I'm sitting there thinking like okay, how can I make this better?
Speaker B:It's not good because I'm not entertained.
Speaker B:I'm now thinking, yeah, yeah, yeah during the movie.
Speaker B:And I just want to almost be like that mindless entertainment, enjoy the experience type of a thing.
Speaker B:So watching this and going, oh, I do this, I do this, I did this.
Speaker B:Secondly, of course hindsight's 20 20.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:But at the same time I'm stupid.
Speaker B:So if I sit there and I'm like, I JJ can attest to this, twists, you know, plot, things that kind of.
Speaker B:He's like, oh, I saw that.
Speaker B:I had no clue.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Like I watched his cane Rosebud got me.
Speaker B:Had no, had no clue.
Speaker B:And that's just one of a thousand.
Speaker B:So if I'm sitting there and I'm coming up with ideas like oh no, you shouldn't.
Speaker B:This should done this.
Speaker B:This.
Speaker B:I think you do this, you got a problem.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Because one, too stupid to figure that out anyways.
Speaker B:I shouldn't be doing that for you.
Speaker B:And two, that's not how I enjoy watching movies.
Speaker B:For the most part.
Speaker B:I like to be the entertainment asp.
Speaker B:And kind of most of the time I'll come out of movie going, I can find the good in it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:Now with this.
Speaker B:And so it's going to be a 0.5 as well because I, I had to watch this like in parts on YouTube.
Speaker B:That was the only place I could find it.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:25, four minute parts on YouTube.
Speaker B:Because it doesn't exist anywhere.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:And so it's, it's just one of those things where you had the recipe and I'll stand by it.
Speaker B:I think the movie is great if you take out the name and change it up and at this point you could probably keep everything and re release it.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:With some clever, you know, movie magic tricks.
Speaker B:Have a great movie re release, pretend that it never exists and call it Tony and Tony and you'd be okay.
Speaker A:That'd be funny as like I think.
Speaker B:You get away with it.
Speaker B:0.5 for me.
Speaker B:I won't watch it again.
Speaker B:Yeah, thanks JJ for that.
Speaker A:You're welcome.
Speaker B:I suppose I was do it after the first three weeks.
Speaker A:I'm gonna.
Speaker A:Yeah, no, I owed you a little bit.
Speaker A:In fact, I may pack up my DVD version and send it to you just so you say you have it.
Speaker B:You have it on dvd?
Speaker A:Yeah, dude.
Speaker A:It was a gag gift given to me years ago.
Speaker A:I had to like they released it on DVD knows why.
Speaker A:But I was like, God damn, I.
Speaker B:Gotta 36 in royalties.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker A:So yeah, that's how I watched it.
Speaker A:Fucking plug that some bitch in.
Speaker A:I was like, oh my God, I haven't.
Speaker A:I don't even think I cracked the seal on that son of a bitch before we had to do this.
Speaker B:Now it's ruined.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker A:Lost its value.
Speaker A:So yeah, there it is.
Speaker A:Alec, tell everybody whether you find us when they're not hanging out with us in the slime.
Speaker B:Happy too.
Speaker B:That's good.
Speaker B:In the slime.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:See us is on YouTube.
Speaker B:You can see us go back and forth, see our faces at what's our Verge record reviews.
Speaker B:After that you can go to Patreon.
Speaker B:What's our Verted reviews, what's our Vertebra podcast I think is.
Speaker B:And from there you guys get voted in the content creation.
Speaker B:So we do this back and forth topic for a month that get voted on, picked.
Speaker B:Then JJ and I will put movies that fit into this topic.
Speaker B:Those get voted on and picked and that is completely free to get involved with the content so you can pick have some control over the movies that we do.
Speaker B:Recently we added some real stakes to the voting.
Speaker B:Before it's just bragging rights.
Speaker B:Now they matter in the sense that we have each created a list of movies for the other that they do not want to watch.
Speaker B:If you lose a month, your list goes up onto the Patreon to be that can be purchased and we'll do a full length episode based on that movie.
Speaker B:So I picked JJ's list.
Speaker B:JJ picked my list.
Speaker B:I haven't seen my list, but I know it's bad.
Speaker B:But since I won January, JD's list is up.
Speaker B:By the time you probably get through watching this, JJ will probably have one February through June, so it'll just.
Speaker A:We can hope.
Speaker B:But that's kind of added some real life stakes or some real stakes to the whole shebang of going back and forth with the votes.
Speaker B:And I, I don't know, I kind of like it because I, I got focused in January on winning and not on the fact that I would have to watch the movies that I won.
Speaker B:And the first three weeks were quite a doozy.
Speaker B:But Patreon, please to get involved there for the content creation.
Speaker B:With special thanks to our current patrons, Chris.
Speaker B:No, not Chris.
Speaker B:Rich and CB did a little combination there.
Speaker B:That was weird.
Speaker A:That's funny.
Speaker A:That's funny.
Speaker B:But behind a little bit of paywall we do also have, we're probably near at this point close to 700 extra full length episodes, behind the scenes tidbits, shorts back and forth, whole nine yards, fun conversations that we've had or just know, making fun of each other.
Speaker B:All that good stuff is up on Patreon for your viewing pleasure.
Speaker B:With that, I'll kick it back to the K Crash, the Titan of Terror.
Speaker B:A jj.
Speaker A:That's right, Titan of Terror.
Speaker A:Wait till you see your list.
Speaker A:There it is.
Speaker A:Super Mario Brothers.
Speaker A:We end, thankfully, the month.
Speaker A:Oh, how did this get made?
Speaker A:Movies?
Speaker A:Boy, this one will be a while before we revisit it again.
Speaker A:This has been a.
Speaker A:It's been an experience this month, but it's been fun at the same time.
Speaker A:If you haven't watched, the last three weeks have been a pure maniacal meltdown on my part.
Speaker A:So if you need something.
Speaker B:I've never seen JJ this mad.
Speaker A:Week after week, I got more and more angry.
Speaker A:By the time I finished, I was like Bob Hoskins.
Speaker A:Mario fucking grumpy bastard.
Speaker A:So yeah, go check it out.
Speaker A:As always, we appreciate you tuning in.
Speaker A:We'll catch you on the next Asala Vista, baby.
Speaker A:Cindy.
